Ouch

Love

My breath pushes too heavy upon my chest; my lungs overtaken by some unseen force alien to me.

In an instant all hope spills like beans from a bag burst open…suddenly scattered…useless.

I am altogether undone.

At the end of me, there’s a place I didn’t know about before.

It’s like a stream hiding deep in the forest waiting for a visitor.

Then all at once it moves and I hear the bubbling of water breaking on the hard rock of my heart.

It hurts and I grow weary with myself.

I can’t say why I didn’t conquer the rapids years ago.

I guess I thought they’d become a distant memory lost beneath brighter things.

God doesn’t heal in part; He’s after everything.

Beneath the cracking of the surface, there’s a grace that won’t leave me standing there half finished.

There’s persistence in the movement of living water through human nature.

Refusing to leave me broken, the process continues.

I rise from beneath the surface, alive…nevertheless, not I, Christ in me.

Hope of glory, don’t leave me alone tonight.

 

 

 

Storm

Sometimes life is like a storm
Wriggling, writhing over the face of the deep
Waves with motion fast…furious conquering the soul of the doubter
Another crash, hard and heavy on the face of the water
Breaking with foam and frenzy
Too easily pulling us under

Sometimes life is like a storm
When belief rises, overpowering fear

We become soldiers armed with faith
Hope springing from the word of testimony
Instead of riding the wave, we part the sea
Instead of falling under defeated, we rise above

Sometimes life is like a storm
Pressing onward we charge against the enemy
Taking back all that was stolen
Obliterating doubt
Sure and confident in who we are
Fully assured that we are his

Storm on faithful ones
You’ve got this!

The Secret to Peace

walk on

I hear his sweet voice from behind the door. A squeaky, tired, “mom”, queuing me to come near quick. He stands in the middle of the bed looking at me with those tired eyes; bed-head pointing in each direction. I smile as he runs towards me. Wobbly feet carry him along, one resolve motivates his movement. He must get to mommy!

This same pattern repeats throughout the day. I work on my laptop on the couch as he plays with blocks. I print to the wireless printer across the room. The noise startles him as foreign sounds fill the room. He jumps to his feet suddenly and runs to my arms. Later, the thunder claps as the afternoon storm rolls in (if you’ve ever been to Florida in the summer time you will understand the severity of a little afternoon thunderstorm). The house shakes and rattles as he leaps into arms, safe and sound, secure knowing I’m near.

He, at 15 months, knows the secret to peace. Somehow it falls out of our awareness as we grow, older, wiser, more independent but the principle remains. True peace is found in the knowledge that we are loved and secure in the arms of one bigger and stronger than us. True peace is found in trust and surrender. It’s harder for us. The art of growing allows us to learn to believe in and rest in the arms of one unseen. Through faith, we know we are held. We often settle for comfort from other sources because it’s easier to lean on something with skin on. But skin fails, hearts grow weak and weary, wisdom falls victim to selfish ambition. People may fail us, but we are safe! We can be perfectly secure in the knowledge that there is one who never fails and He loves us more than we can fathom.

So today when your fears rise up and the thunderstorms rage and the rooms grow dark and you feel alone, call out. Run to the arms of The Lord. He is always near! He will never fail! He is completely trustworthy! Just as I smile and comfort my little one, He longs to comfort you. You are not alone!

The End of the Day

At the end of the day, I can rest knowing that I did all I could to stand when the daylight and dusk collided. When the sound of feet on pavement pushed resistance against my longing…when the straggler dreams long into the twilight and the voices fade, deep and gnawing at the heart of me…I hold this hope assured in love. As the conquerer’s hands grasp tight to mine, lifting my head higher to behold the place his glory dwells. Ah, rest is found there. When his voice blares loudly the song of the ages and I find arms willing to wrap me up in grace. Comforter covering me whole.
Tonight as my eyes burn to close, I will remember that in Him I live and move and have my being and that tomorrow is another opportunity for greatness. Now I rest assured, confident and safe in the embrace of the ultimate comforter. And the world turns on and the play continues. I am found here where today gives way to tomorrow.

The Beauty of Commitment

off a cliff

Ear pressed to chest

listening

heartbeat consuming

in moments known as “now”

all fades to dim

but the light of this space

the light of eyes

shining brightly with love

moved

breathing you in

sweet caress of hands lost in skin

in moments of you and me

drifting to dreams

nestled safe in arms

love reminding me that we are one

union of souls in covenant

forever combined

forever committed

forever one

I’ll never turn away

Discovering Why

why

Perhaps I’m easily excitable. Perhaps I am always searching. Perhaps the promise of hope makes my heart beat wildly. Perhaps…

I utter simple prayers each day that God would take my selfish heart and expand it outward. I pray that I would truly love others and that maybe I could connect with another human in a way that’s meaningful. That in this massive stage where the tragedy unfolds, I might be able to play a part in the resolution. Where the Kingdom of God meets the longing of man, I would reach inward and help another to stand whole and restored.

Then I go about my day. sit alone in my office and do my job. I go about my life running from task to task and forget to stop and look. I sometimes forget to care. Then I crumble into the pillow exhausted after the day and feel as though there must be something more.

I love my job! I adore my family! I consider myself to be highly blessed and favored. Please don’t misunderstand the previous statements to mean I’m ill-satisfied with my life. I am most certainly not. But, I also realize that the deep longing of my heart to influence and reach others is born from the Spirit of God and his deep desire to reach men and women and show this his everlasting love and promise. It is inherent in the heart of a follower of Jesus to love others. It’s a consequence of a life surrendered. Perhaps I’m just a Christian.

I made a decision this week that seemed so unlike me and started a new venture with my husband. Here I am, this shy girl who has always struggled a bit making conversation with people I don’t know and I’ve started a business that requires me to communicate and share with everyone I meet in order to succeed. The funny thing is that despite the fact that it is so unlike anything I ever imagine myself doing, I KNOW with certainty that God is in it. He confirmed it in so many ways and I’ve been truly excited and completely full since making the commitment to run with it.

I made a decision that if I’m ever going to reach people, I need to learn to reach. I cannot remain stuck unable to start a conversation and expect relationships to spontaneously combust before me. I’ve spent the week thinking about my “why”. Why am I doing this? There are several reasons but the biggest one is that I know I’m called to be love to others. How can I ever help others if I don’t reach?

I’ve also realized that we spend our time spinning our wheels in the day to day. My husband is a business owner and works so hard. Often, 50-60 hours per week. I work full time as well. We have four children at home going in four different directions every day. We are the epitome of busy! I’ve found an opportunity to build a business that offers the potential of financial and time freedom. I desire to work smarter and build our dream of enjoying the time we have with our family and taking back our lives. Yes, it will take work and sacrifice for awhile, but the promise of time freedom is worth the work. Imagine what I can give back to the kingdom with financial freedom and time freedom in my grasp!

My “why” is simple. The ability to give. I desire to give of myself to others. I desire to give the gift of time to my family. I desire to give financially to those in need and to the furtherance of the Kingdom of God. I’m sure there will be those who think I’m crazy or think my goals are unattainable. That’s okay with me. Nothing good was ever accomplished by living life for the approval of others.

We are building a team in the US and branching out to Canada this month as well. I would be remiss if I didn’t put the plug out there that you can join us in our endeavor and find your “why” as well. Click here to find out about our business and join our team. Or visit our products page and support us by being a customer. Above all, pray for us and our new endeavor that God would build our team and expand our territory and be glorified first and foremost in all that we do. Thank you!

*Addendum:  This post was in no way intended to be a shameless marketing ploy but rather an update on what’s going on in my life and an attempt to get you, my readers, thinking about your “why”. Why do you do what you do? Make everything you do count!