emotion

Giant on a fluff of dust

/ Jaimie / 2 Comments

I feel like the world has shrunk beneath me. I’m sitting on top of it, this little fluff of dust and I’m so big.

The air becomes my only solace and I focus on breathing in and breathing out. I’m lost, suspended atop the tiny surface by nothing more than grace.

Holding me, the intangible taking on substance in this moment because He always knows exactly what I need and brings that…nothing more…nothing less. Just enough to sustain me when my eyes are dry and my heart can’t quite muster the strength to feel.

The numb is pushing hard against me with it’s eerie nimble fingers clawing merciless at my soul. I want to run but the ground is hiding.

So I sit here on the lonely ball of earth beneath me and wonder how I’ll make it. Knowing in my head that there’s a plan…wishing my heart would get with the program. Tomorrow we begin again.

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In Light of Argument

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

Brush back the tears I thought had dried

Slowly bound by in between

Is there a riddle to things behind unlocking the scars in me?

Tonight I’m yarn knotted to nonsense, twisted aimlessly behind the noise that screams behind your eyes

 

A promise I believe will hold me pounding steady rhythms on my aching feet

Foundation to calm the poisons from my past that sneak up to persuade me to believe the lie again

I am the constant variable

You are not dependent on the stagger of my wasted emotion

 

Then your lips press to close tightly like a vice that seeks to express the air from these, my infant lungs

The hose that feeds me sustenance pinched before you and I’m not sure you even notice

 

I’ll wake tomorrow and see that it was all a dream

My heart will lift with the sweetness and calm of morning

But tonight, I’ll exchange the tears that attempt to fall for the letters joined in sequence on this page.

Maybe that’s enough…