Here lies a wandering world, numbed by silence and lulled to slumber in the bed of their own consequences. Hearts yearning for “something more”, frustration and longing for love and satisfaction gripping them with fists of disillusionment. “I thought my life would be different.”
Glimmer of hope, Jupiter crowned in Regulus, star to cut the darkness brightly. King of all wrapped in cloak of skin, divinity set aside in submission to meager mortal. Love beyond comprehension. Inconceivable wonder. (You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.)
Care and protection of the Godhead assigned to lowly frame of girl and boy. Unspeakable mystery. “Be it unto me according to your word.” Prophecies of old fulfilled in one. Odds too numerous to imagine. Proof through faith and Science of a living God who set the heavens in motion for this moment.
Christmas tree, gift of God, hanging sinless in agony for the very ones who scourged him. Forgiving and zealous for the waiting world. Accepting the blame for our mistakes. Tree of life, glorious cross. Beauty from despair, newness from death. Lasting satisfaction and peace given freely from scarred hands of mercy.
I am eternally grateful.
Photo by Gino Santa Maria
Please indulge while I rant for a moment on basic etiquette and common sense.
As I’ve told you before, I am happily pregnant with my fourth little munchkin. The second trimester is so much easier than the first in many ways, but I’m encountering a new phenomenon that I don’t think I noticed the last three times around. As my baby bump is growing, I am finding that the comments I am receiving from the peanut gallery are growing and some of them are a little baffling.
I am perfectly fine with people commenting on the fact that I am showing or (hopefully) how adorable I look. I can even (in most instances) tolerate the occasional belly rub. Still, I wonder what is going through the minds of those who choose to use words like “huge” and “fatty” in reference to how an expecting mommy looks. I’ve been told, “You’re HOW far along?” while eyes roll and gravitate back and forth between my face and stomach. Or there’s the ever so popular, “Are you sure there’s only ONE in there?”
I was so grateful for the fellow mom that happened to be standing next to me yesterday at church and said “I always showed right away too” in response to the man who was telling me if I’m already this huge I’m certainly going to be REALLY HUGE by the time I deliver. I could tell in his face he was genuinely trying to be nice, but still…not too brilliant.
It seems to me that there is a certain insanity among those who would say insulting things to a woman whose hormones are raging in such a way that you never know how she’ll react. I usually possess enough self-control to push down the impulse to punch them or snap back irrationally, but I can’t promise that my strength will prevail every time. I admit that it is making me cranky! Maybe writing it all out here will alleviate some of the frustration and return me to a state of “normal”…at least that’s what I’m hoping for.
I made a decision at the beginning of this adventure that I would wear my baby belly proudly and I will continue to show off my HUGE-ness with a smile. However, please say a quick prayer that I don’t deck any poor, unsuspecting, well-intentioned but extremely misguided, blabbermouth who happens to call me fatty on the wrong day. 🙂
I watched a newborn baby snuggled tightly to her mother’s chest in perfect peace amidst the noise and chaos all around. I sang with all I had in worship to my father, the author of all I am, the one we so often forget to acknowledge. We pursue Him in word and song, praying He will meet us where we are. We pursue the strength of His arm to sweep in and lift our heads from the weight of the burdens we insist on carrying.
The baby before me needs her mother’s arms to carry her. She gains her sustenance from her mother. Without her parents or someone to care for her, she will not survive, let alone thrive. Yet we act and live as if we are somehow independent.
My prayers changed in that moment.
I don’t want to long for an encounter with God or for His strength to meet me and carry me through moments I cannot handle on my own. I want to NEED Him! I realized He is faithful to meet us in the place of our need. I pray that I will need Him in everything. I pray I will worship Him from a deep knowledge that without Him, I cannot hold my own head up. Without Him, I am thirsty and hungry. Without Him, I am bound by the impossible weight of this world. Without Him, I am weak and broken.
In Him, I am alive. In Him, I can breathe deep and inhale the wonder before me. In Him, color awakens to brilliance. In Him, shadows flee, questions have answers, light and hope fill the places once occupied by darkness. In Him, I love and am loved. In Him, there is joy unexplainable. In Him, I live and move and have my being. Everything I need, He has given. My desires become captured by beauty and purpose. Meaning takes on new meaning.
Lord, I pray that I would be consumed by a passion and a need for you. I pray that I would continue to decrease making more room for your glory in my life. There is no greater joy. I am enamoured and captivated by you. As I seek you and find you, I realize that I can’t get enough of you.