The last few years has been a roller coaster. Have you ever had the experience where you feel completely content and at peace and then later it’s like you wake up and you realize that THIS is what peace that passes understanding really feels like? It’s like exhaling breath that’s been held in reserve. The “in case of emergency” oxygen reserve you’ve held on to in case the drowning continues. 

The funny thing about it is that it’s hard to even admit I’m at peace because of the inevitable jinxing fear that will follow. Don’t say anything! Just let it ride…

Yet, here I am, writing it all out in black and white. I throw these words out into the void and feel comfortable doing so. Why? What deluded confidence could possibly make me comfortable daring the void to come at me, Bruh? I’ve lived long enough and endured enough to know that the faithfulness of God is unmatchable, immutable and altogether wonderful! 

I’m sitting in a surgical center while my husband is in surgery. Not exactly the moment that one might expect me to write about unsurpassed peace I suppose, but what better moment is there to revel in the beauty of peace then when circumstances might induce anxiety in others. My husband and I have had some unquestionably rough times. In fact, if you’d asked me three years ago if we’d still be married three years from then, I’d have probably said no. I couldn’t see a way through at that point but by the grace of God. 

Then God said, “let there be light” or some holier version of “hold my beer” and accomplished things that were frankly impossible. Here we are now, still married, still trusting The Lord, still believing for miracles that He still continues to do. 

Simply amazing! I am rambling I realize, but why not ramble while I wait. I’m completely confident that my husband will be fine. I pray he recovers well on the other side. Mostly, I’m thankful that I’m able to sit here in perfect peace. I’m thankful that I can rest in the shadow of his wings no matter where I am, or what is happening around me. 

So accept these, my random thoughts, dear void. I’ll send some more your way soon. Love, Me 

P.S. Hubby’s surgery went perfect! 🙂