Sometimes your own people won’t get you
Sometimes it hurts
Sometimes that’s okay
Sometimes it’s not
That’s okay too
Walk on dear friend.
Move into the next moment, okay with yourself and who you are.
If the night stopped the second a cloud came, we’d never see daylight
But we keep spinning
And the dawn will come
Wake up tomorrow and realize you don’t need the approval of the setting sun.
If you really knew me, would you hang me out to dry with the stars?
Would you wonder if I’m someone worth your time?
Would you debate with the clock and the ashes of lives lived and gone?
Would you pull me close and tell me of tomorrows?
Would you fold the flames of a life well lived around me or call for backup?
If you really knew me, would you say hello when you saw me or hide?
If you really knew me would you wonder at the greatness I hold or run in the opposite direction?
Will you read my words on a page and wonder if I’m human?
Or will you find that we are the same
Fumbling for light when the darkness presses in and …
Reaching, so hard, when the light calls?
Do you see me? Can you hear me?
These are questions for the abyss yet I ask them.
These moments define destiny.
Iif you really knew me, you would know.
But in the space of time and light and all the things that make us….us, I’m a voice screaming into the air.
But if you really knew me, that might matter.
In the meantime, I’m okay with the background chatter.
I used to be human, once when it was trendy.
But what good are trends anyway?!?
I’m me in the trenches.
I’m me when the world crashes around me.
I’m me in the flesh and the bone…in the spirit and song…
In the trenches.
Just little ol’ me
I grope for air when I need to breathe
I hang on to euphemisms when I need hope.
I grope for light when I feel dark.
I wait for the dishes to be done
For the world to feel uncluttered even when I know I’m responsible for the outcome.
I wait for the light to appear.
But I am loved!
Not by you certainly. Maybe not even by the people I hold close to my chest like life preservers.
But I’m loved.
And maybe that’s enough.
Because I’ll get up tomorrow and go again.
And things will get done little by little and I will grow or whatever…
Tonight, I’m me, in the light of a thousand moons,and the presence of a God who loves me anyway and that’s more than enough for me!
When light and rust fight
Who wins?
The birds and the bees and the air in the trees and you and I
Maybe
We will see.
I once basked in moonlight
I found it glorious
I remember writing cheesy poetry about the moon being a “rock ball reflection of the brightness of fire”
The moon was a magical reflection of what could be in the dawning of the SON.
I never shied away from night because I see it as an integral part of living.
I’m still not a morning person.
I don’t sleep well.
I don’t enjoy waking
I want to stay in bed in the embrace of the solitude
It’s a flaw I live with every day when the 5am alarm blares.
But in darkness, we can remember light and that is crucial.
I am scrambling tonight in pursuit of bedtime while my to-do list beckons.
One thing I know…
Tomorrow is coming and I will tackle whatever it brings.
Live
Like there’s no tomorrow
Find the light when the moon hides and the sun doesn’t show its face.
Get up! Breathe again and remember why!
Sometimes, that’s all we’ve got.
So go!!!
I think I was me once, when nothing else interrupted the light.
I could call out and hear the echo of tomorrow, regardless, the darkness that threatened.
But I think I forgot
What does it mean to hold a candle and illuminate the shadow?
Am I here in the midst?
Am I breathing?
I guess we will know tomorrow.
And even if we don’t, I’ll get up and start again
Because that’s what it means to fight!
The embrace of every day
The inbounding hope that fills the gap between dark and dawn
We get up and go again and hope the light can find us when we’ve lost our way.
So step forward, one tentative step at a time
And keep going
One foot, then another.
Tomorrow brings no promise of light and life but it’s what we have.
So push through the breech and find your strength dear friend.
Tomorrow is worth the fight!
I think I may live in segments. Moments between where the great is and where it was and who I am now and who I used to be.
Segmented arthropods or a life once lived draped in shadow. And I’m okay this way…maybe…
I stare at the moon.
I stare at the memory.
I stare at life.
And I’m breathing
Wondering what that means anymore.
But my voice is strong and so I stare and yell to the void
Maybe that’s enough.
Maybe not.
Time will tell.
I’ll be honest,
Sometimes I don’t know if up is down. Or right is left or who let the dogs out…cue the song “who…who”
But I know who I am.
And maybe. That’s enough…
But in the morning, it feels like nothing, as I start again. And that can be debilitating.
So we scramble from night to day and wonder where the light will land.
And we are more than conquerors even when we don’t feel it.
But sometimes we don’t.
And we walk forward because the light calls to us and there’s no other choice.
Keep going or die here. So we walk.
But if the light had eyes and voice and tears, would it beckon us into the void?
I don’t know but I’m walking and so are you.
Let’s go together
What else is there?
I’ve been hesitant to write. Hurricane Ian tore through my town, took the lives of people I know, took the homes of my friends, and shook us to breaking.
Thankfully, my family is fine. We watched from the window, waiting for trees we were sure would fall, to go the distance, and miraculously, my family was unscathed.
But then you look around…
And you see the devastation that missed you, so close.
It’s unnerving
It’s unsettling
It’s heartbreaking
This is my home!
So I didn’t want to write about it.
But tonight, my son and I were messing around and playing and singing improv on the piano and this came out,
“When all the light and all the dark have disappeared and I’m staring at the grave of wasted tears. Who am I and who are you and what should we do from here nobody knows.
So we walk through the night. And we share. whatever light we can find so we walk and we we climb through the void to who we are and who you are and who we’re meant to be and now it’s ‘us’…across the void…against the void”
And I’ve spent the day lugging debris and hauling things that may or may not be salvageable from the wreckage. And I hear the tears and pray the prayers and I’m in this…
And I’m living this! And it’s so much more than we ever imagined.
And I wonder who I am
Is the light of Christ in me enough to pierce the darkness?
I know it is cognitively.
But when the real hits you like a train colliding on the back of your faith, can you (I) be grateful? Can I say, “Great is thy Faithfulness “?
I have an answer but I won’t proffer it here. I ask you to decide.
Do we lean on light and what we know of the truth or do we look at destruction and falter?
Okay, I give up. I’ll answer….He is still so, so good!!!!!
No storm can hold Him!
Nothing can chain Him!
And I see it!
So debris can give way and my hope still stands.
I know who I am but more importantly, I know who He is!!!
And that’s enough
I sit in spaces, lost between the worlds
Who I am, and who I should be
Breaking, with the glimmer of light.
And I can be so broken…I should be
But I’m not
I’m stronger than the wind, because it passes while I remain
So I stare at rainbows
Reminders in the sky of what can be, when sun and rain collide
That maybe, where my trauma and truth collide, there can be beauty
And I can be a reminder.
Choose to be bigger
Don’t let the sun dim to fade
Shine!
You were made for more! And so was I
In the still, find breath and breathe.
It’s enough; I promise!
INSPIRED BY THE COMFORTER 