Thought

The Map

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Coffee

There’s something about the promise in a morning. A new day peaks over the mountains that stood, ominous, dark, hours before. There’s opportunity inherent there. There’s hope that maybe today will bring with it all the things we’ve been searching for.

That’s why I’m making a diligent choice to sit for a moment, still, with coffee in one hand, treasure map in the other

seeking.

 I may not know what adventure awaits me today but I know the means of survival are right here in my grasp, the living word of God, breathing before me

leading me.

It’s wisdom better than gold or rubies making me better.

Proverbs 8:10-11 Receive my instruction, and not silver,  And knowledge rather than choice gold; For wisdom is better than rubies, And all the things one may desire cannot be compared with her.”

Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Messy

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Messy

As I was cleaning up smashed strawberries and bananas off of the floor under my son’s high chair this morning, it hit me…not just the peaches he was chucking at my head…also the realization that life is messy. There’s really no way around this fact. Sure, I’m in the thick of it, with four kids at home and a full-time job and ministry obligations. There’s always something more to be done and some inner voice telling me I’m not doing it all well enough. But I think all of us have an element of “mess” in our lives. It’s that stuff that always comes back, the house, the bills, the relational problems, whatever it may be.

I, for one, tend to rail against the mess hoping if I grimace enough, it will all go away and sparkle in the radiant light of my annoyance. This approach rarely works. Go figure…The better approach would be to realize that the mess has purpose and accept it. The mess serves to make me better and if I’m better at the end of the day, then it was all worth it.

For me, the mess tends to ‘mess’ with my psyche. I am my own worst critic. Consequently, I can be so hard on myself when the mess is too grand for me to tackle in a day. Sometimes, I find myself on my knees in the morning scrubbing day old fruit like this morning, as today’s peaches fly like rockets. And that’s okay.

There’s an odd little story in 2 Kings chapter 2:23-24. Elisha was going about his day and some young dudes decided to mock him and call him “baldhead”. Elisha turns around and looks at them and curses them in the name of the Lord and bears come out of the woods and eat them up. Elisha just keeps on going to where he was headed. Weird right? I’ve heard a lot of commentary on this passage, and honestly, I never thought too much about this passage and just attributed it to Elisha being sensitive about his receding hairline. Plus, how dumb to mess with the man of God! Today, I’m thinking a little differently.

We all have those things that we are sensitive about. Mine is my inability to “properly” quell the messes that confront me. I fight with myself regularly as my internal accuser tells me I’m failing. Today, I’ve learned to stop arguing and just pull an Elisha. When the mocker comes, I can stare it down and curse it in the name of the Lord. I can do this because I know who I am. Elisha was so much more than a bald guy. I am so much more than my mess. So I can boldly stand at the edge of the woods that would seek to drag me down and bury me deep in shame and insecurity and I can call on something higher than myself to deal with the problem. I don’t need to fight my own battles, I need to rest in who I am in Christ and keep going.

I don’t know what mess is mocking you today. It could be flying peaches, anger or even addictions, but I do know this, there is a defender who loves you deeply. He will help when you call upon his name. You never have to face this life alone. I pray your day is filled with cleaning, smiles and bear calling…and those flying peaches may be sticky, but don’t let them bring you down.

Does Modesty Matter?

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Photo by the Associated Press

Photo by the Associated Press

What does it mean to be modest? The dictionary defines it as “behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.” Churches have defined it based on 1 Timothy 2:9-10, “in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” We’ve argued the topic at length. I remember being told as a young girl that I should beware not to cause a man to lust. I couldn’t, as a young girl, understand this statement. My parents were even asked to leave a church they pastored as a result of my mom being caught red-‘legged’ in a pair of shorts in her own home when an elder stopped by un-announced. So believe me, I understand the abuse of women who were pounded with shame and legalism using the mallet of modesty.

That being said, I think we do a disservice to women and men alike by refusing to have the conversation about modest apparel or by stating that modest dress, being a subjective concept to begin with, is irrelevant to our present culture and should be abandoned in light of freedom of expression. I stumbled across  this article  this morning. For those of you who won’t take the time to read it, it is a response by Rachel Held Evans to a recent presentation by Jessica Rey regarding the evolution of the swimsuit and her new line of modest swimwear. I highly recommend watching Ms. Rey’s presentation here. Ms. Evans seemingly contends that since the church has used the issue of modesty to shame women into the notion that they are responsible for a man’s lust toward them and since most biblical passages relating to modesty are aimed more specifically at materialism, woman should be free to wear whatever they want without regard to how their clothing and appearance will affect the men (and women) around them.

It’s not the only area in scripture where we’ve used similar premises either, I might add. I’ve heard many women say they’d prefer to remove the scriptural concept of submission in marriage as well. The problem isn’t so much that submission or modesty are restrictive, it’s that they have been misused and abused. It’s no secret that the church has used concepts pertaining to godly living to condemn and even abuse people. Oftentimes, this is done to justify one’s own sinful tendencies. Christian men may use modesty as an excuse, “If she didn’t dress that way, I wouldn’t lust.” The truth is that lust is a heart condition as Jesus stated in Matthew 5:29, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” It is never acceptable to shift the blame for one’s sinfulness onto another. Jesus clearly puts the onus on the individual when he continues saying that if your eye offends you, pluck it out.

I remember this concept confusing me when I was a teenager and being told not to cause a man to lust. I didn’t understand it. I thought, “why doesn’t he just not look?” And there is some truth there. Men and women are responsible for their own actions and their own sins. If something is causing you to stumble, look away, or like Joseph when Potiphar’s wife got naked and tried to seduce him, RUN!!! FLEE!!! Get the heck out of there. You are responsible! Period!

Still, Paul also speaks about not eating meat sacrificed to idols if it offends your neighbor. As in just about everything, there is a balance. While women are certainly entitled to looking fashionable and pretty. They need to examine their motivations when it comes to issues of modesty.

It’s true that the conflicting voices are growing louder in our culture. The over-sexualization and objectification of women is everywhere you turn. Somehow, this is being sold to us as not only acceptable but as empowering to woman. The notion that to show off our bodies gives us freedom and power is inaccurate, however. My very astute daughter noticed recently that certain entertainers who call themselves feminists are most known for their ability to dance provocatively (while singing) wearing very little clothing. They brandish their sexuality calling it empowerment while, in actuality, they further the exploitative notion that women are objects to be used for sexual pleasure and entertainment. A true feminist should be touting the truth that women are so much more than showpieces, they are people with enormous capability, complex beauty and sensitivity. Women are masters at relationships, interpersonal connectivity and managing the demands of life with grace and dignity. Women are purposed for greatness that far exceeds their bodies and sexuality.

That being said, a woman’s sexuality and beauty is also a wonderful thing. When a woman is confident in herself, clothing herself in dignity and strength and faithfully following The Lord, she radiates beauty. She doesn’t need to hide from it. She doesn’t need to flaunt it. She carries it with her, inherent to who she is. There is no need for a woman to stop being interested in fashion or wear frumpy outfits to hide her from the world. We are a light and we should shine brightly.

So how do we strike a balance between the two voices? I think perhaps it begins right where the conversation began, with the heart. As women, we need to understand how our clothing (or lack thereof) may have an effect on the opposite gender. If we know the way we dress is causing an issue for another person, is it loving and Godly to continue dressing that way?

We need to begin having an honest inner dialog with ourselves. Why do we feel compelled to show a little more skin? Is it really a question of our being comfortable that way? I think for many women it’s more a matter of competition if we’re being honest. We feel like if we don’t look a certain way, we won’t be noticed anymore or we won’t be considered beautiful. We may even feel like it’s the only way to keep our husbands looking our way and not toward the gal in the grocery store who isn’t afraid to flaunt it. (side-note: my ex-husband was a sex addict and I can assure you, this tactic doesn’t work. Lust is a heart issue and he will always look elsewhere if it’s in his heart to do so. It has nothing to do with you no matter what the enemy of your soul screams in your ear…but that’s another blog post.)

Is it loving to wear clothing that makes it necessary for every Christian man to “run” and look away to maintain his integrity? Is it loving to wear clothing that makes other women feel uncomfortable being around you because they either feel it necessary to compete with you or protect their husbands and sons from you? It may seem like a good and honorable notion to dress for oneself but it’s not biblical. We are instructed biblically to put the needs of others before our own. (Matthew 22:36-40). 1 Cor. 8:13 “Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.” Col. 3:17, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus” It seems to me that if we are going to take a position here, wouldn’t the best one be to err on the side of love and respect for the needs of others rather than a desire to do whatever we want and not be restricted?

We have a responsibility to teach our daughters a little more than the do’s and don’ts. We should be comfortable broaching the subjects of lust, sexuality and attraction with our children. They will hear many messages from the world. Shouldn’t we be sure that they know the beauty of God’s design for sex? Instead of talking merely about the negatives of an issue, we should discuss the positives. There is something wonderful about knowing that certain things are for my husband’s eyes only. There is something wonderful in trusting in one another’s commitment to honor a marriage as well. We need to start talking about integrity, self-respect and dignity instead of shame and condemnation. I find that people tend to follow vision. Give your kids a clear vision of why it’s good to maintain modest dress and purity and they are more apt to go for it. Give them a no-no list and they won’t be quite as enthusiastic.

I know it isn’t always easy making a stand for something that isn’t necessarily in keeping with the tides of culture. Still, I firmly believe that one can look fashionable and beautiful without compromising modest standards and dignity. I firmly believe that removing biblical standards on the basis of culture is a dangerous proposition. I firmly believe that women are worth more than the what they look like in micro-mini skirts and halter tops. I firmly believe that a hedonistic culture focused on self and individual happiness would be impacted most by a remnant of believers determined to serve and love others more than themselves. I firmly believe that true freedom comes from the knowledge that we are loved immensely by God and His standards are there to protect and guide us rather than to inhibit us. Modesty is important and relevant even now in this generation and we need to continue to have conversations about it.

Renewed

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stage light

The whole of the gospel speaks of dying to ones self in order that Christ may live within. I have often prayed the prayer that David prayed in Psalm 51:10

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

There’s risk involved with praying such prayers. For the heart of man to be clean, it must first be revealed unclean. As a general principle, people don’t enjoy having their sins revealed. For sin to remain in our hearts, it needs to hide away from the light. My pastor used to always say that sin acted much like cockroaches; when the light is turned on, the roaches scatter. They aren’t comfortable hanging out in the light for everyone to see them. There’s danger in the light. Light inherently defeats darkness.

Light

So we hide and hope no one sees who we really are. An atheist friend of mine once told me that his most fundamental problem with Christianity in principle was the notion that men (and women) are inherently sinners. He preferred to start with the premise that men are inherently good. It’s a nice thought, but in practice, it just doesn’t hold true. There is vast evil bound up in the hearts and imaginations of man.

More striking is the fact that when we do something ‘wrong’, we inherently know that we’ve done something wrong. Ben Carson mentioned this phenomenon in his book, One Nation. He recounted a story about when he shot a bird with his BB gun. No one had told him not to shoot a bird, but he felt so guilty and knew that what he’d done was wrong. We do sinful things and feel the effects of those sins not just in respect to consequences but in our hearts.

The beauty of grace is that God has provided a way that we can live in freedom from guilt and shame. Sin no longer holds us captive because it was crucified and buried so that we can be raised to new life with Jesus Christ. Though we were once slaves to sin, we are now completely free. Hence, whatever is revealed in our hearts as unclean or wrong is not a source of condemnation but rather a reason to rejoice. Once we are aware there is an area of need, we can become free from that which held us bound. With every need, we find more freedom. The closer we draw to Christ and the more we take on his likeness, the more we are able to find complete peace and safety.

Suddenly, nothing can hold us back. Where once the voices of our accusers rang out, the voice of our Savior answers that he remembers our sin no longer. Though they call us a slave, he calls us a son. There is absolute freedom in truth.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

“Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.'” John 8:34-36

“Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba, Father!’  Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ” Galatians 4:3-7

Some have mistakenly believed that Christianity is a religion of guilt but the opposite is true. The gospel was never about finding fault that is a human thing to do, not ordained by the divine. In fact when Jesus was asked the question in John 9:2-3 “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” The disciples were interested in assigning fault. Jesus was interested in revealing the glory of the God through healing.

Yes, God hates sin. He hated it so much that he made provisions so that it would never have a hold or claim on us again. That is the gospel. That Jesus LOVES! That Jesus HEALS! That we are FREE!

The next time your accusers come (even if that accuser is your own inner voice) and try to tell you aren’t good enough, answer back in truth. That, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. He doesn’t demand perfection. He doesn’t sit around counting our mistakes and writing them in the stars. He is faithful to show us who we are in the light of his holiness and we then can continue conquering those things that try to hold us captive. We have been reconciled to him and he is ever working to draw us near.

jump

There is no shame or guilt for the former things or even in the ways we fail today or tomorrow. Like a loving father, he continues to love us and allows us to start each new day whole and clean before him. Rather than hiding from our innermost battles, we should stand up and confront them with the power of the gospel and the knowledge that we are more than conquerors and we are free from their groping little claws. One touch of his blood and all is renewed.

 

Listen

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Image

The same phrase keeps resonating in my head this week, “Have you finished doing the last thing God asked you to do?” I’m thinking the answer is probably “no” but I can’t remember the last thing he asked me to do, which makes me realize I’m not listening as well as I think I am, which makes me resolve to tune in today, which makes me a better person, which makes the world a little bit better.

Time

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makes_eat_time

Father Time boasts precision but I’m beginning to wonder. This morning he seems to be all thumbs. It cannot possibly be time to wake up and start another day. It cannot be that my stepson graduates from college tomorrow. It can’t be right that baby man will be turning one and I need to plan a family gathering and smash cake. It cannot be only one year left until my precious daughter finishes high school and chooses a college.
Perhaps his fingers swell at night when we aren’t looking and push the minute hand up, faster than we anticipate. Maybe he’s playing tricks on us to see if we are paying attention. He’s watching to see if we will look up and live or fumble, head down, persistent into out to do lists and/or smart phones. I don’t know.
This morning I’m watching. I’m aware that it’s a flash and a blur this life. And we hang on and try to enjoy the ride, often forgetting to pause and laugh or smile. Often forgetting WHY we do day to day.
Sometimes we miss our moments because we are too tired, too busy, too distracted. We abandon life for tv screens and media. In all our doing we forget to live.
Time isn’t waiting for us. It’s moving, changing, ticking on. Steady or fumbled and jumbled, I don’t know. Though we can’t control the clock, we can redeem the day.

Bananas

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IMG_1210

I moved from Southern Ohio to Florida in 1988. I was in the fourth grade. It seemed so glamorous and magical at the time. We had a banana tree beside our little trailer and I thought it looked so tropical and lush. It was just a baby but we were so proud of it. I knew one day I’d be eating fruit we’d grown right there in our trailer park yard. Somehow, since then, I’ve lost some of the wonder.

When my husband and I moved into our current home, the yard was a little barren so we hired a landscaper to put in some plants that we weren’t likely to kill easily. We are not the most inspired gardeners. He put in several banana trees. I found myself complaining about them. I should focus on the green portions of the tree or the cute little bunches of bananas that grow from time to time, but instead, all I see are the brown droopy leaves bending low at the bottom of the plants. They are kind of ugly.

photo

The noble trees are working hard to reach upward; growing fast toward the sun. They are even making precious fruit for me to enjoy and I sit and criticize and scorn them thinking my yard looks more like a mess than a tropical paradise. I could go tend them and clean up the area a little, but that demands more effort than I care to proffer so I choose the path of least resistance, annoyance.

Francis Frangipane mentioned this critical tendency recently when he said, “True, when I first see the need, typically, my flesh reacts with criticism. But if I repent of just finding fault – if I pray and submit myself to Christ’s heart – I soon discover there are many ways for me to participate in redeeming this situation, all of which fuel my spiritual growth. Indeed, by approaching the area of need with Christ’s redemptive heart, the “flawed reality” I initially criticized ultimately became the land of my anointing.”

I’ve known those who say they will never go to church because the church is full of hypocrites. And maybe they are right. Maybe we are all goofy looking banana trees reaching for the sun as the old sinful nature dies off and dangles, brown and ugly. Thankfully, God looks down from above and sees life and delights in all of us fruity folks. Still I can’t help but wonder what the body of Christ could do if we would take that child like perspective that sees the tree as magical, lush, tropical and full of wonder. What if we stopped criticizing one another and started participating in redeeming the situation? What if we pushed aside the urge to criticize and began reacting to annoyance first with prayer? What would we look like if we chose love? I, for one, am planning to find out.

IMG_1211

To Be Like Naaman

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jordan river

If I were a man of valor, I could do all the right things while defeating many enemies. I could swarm in at the first sign of impending attack and quell the conflict with a glance of my fiery eyes. I could gain favor from the king, acclaim from my fellows, pride from the weight of the sword swinging mightily in my hand. Naaman was a man of valor. (2 Kings 5) Naaman was a leper.
The thing about our own might is that it can only reach so far. There will always be that thing out of our control that we cannot conquer with our own strength. There are things that coat the skin and degrade our might before our eyes. At the end of the day, we cannot make ourselves pure. We are helpless in the face of our own sins, unable to heal the innermost scars that taunt and threaten our undoing. Our own efforts look silly when the mirror reflects back to us the image of who we’ve become after the world has battered us to sickness.
Then we bring our riches to the place where God’s presence dwells, hoping he will be gracious enough to make us clean. He asks us for the simple thing. Go to the river and wash and be clean. Yet we are prone to turn away angry expecting to be asked to give greatness in exchange for greatness. Even then, we are reminded that the way to freedom is simple. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Mt. 11:28.
We dive deep, seven times in the water of life and we are clean. “So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.” 2Kings 5:14
The thing about Naaman is that his valor couldn’t save him. His riches couldn’t save him. (The man of God wouldn’t accept anything.) A simple act of obedience washed away his flesh until he was pure with faith like a child. It was there, in that childlike faith, that he knew God was real.
If I were a man of valor, I would be humble. I would deny logic for a chance to obey the voice of my maker. If I were a man of valor, I would become a child and follow.

To be a Real Woman

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This morning began like any other. I guzzled some coffee, did my mom thing, got a quick workout in, did laundry. At some point when the dust had settled, I sat down for a dose of social media while the Today Show played in the background. There was a post (which I will not link here because there is a curse word in it) from a friend of mine that in essence said a “real woman” is whatever she wants to be rather than curvy or skinny or muscular etc. Meanwhile, the Today Show can’t stop talking about People Magazine’s selection of Lupita Nyong’o as Most Beautiful person of the year.

Lupita Nyong'o - She is beautiful isn't she?

Lupita Nyong’o – She is beautiful isn’t she?

The Today Show host said that Lupita had said in an interview that growing up, she didn’t feel beautiful at all. And it hit me afresh how many women feel this way. How sad that we’ve allowed outside opinion and influence to dictate our identity. I too am guilty of propagating the lie.

Just this morning, I caught myself thinking, as I looked a friend’s photo, “She is such a pretty girl, but she wears WAY too much makeup!” I know I’ve said the opposite as well, “She would be so pretty if she wore a little makeup.” Or “lost weight” or “gained weight” or “dressed better” or…you get the idea.

I’ve propagated the lie inward as well. “I need to lose those last few baby pounds.” “I need shoes like that” “I need a new hairstyle.”…you get the idea. Don’t misunderstand, there is nothing wrong with doing things that make you feel confident like getting a new haircut or wearing those outfits that make you feel like you can conquer earth with your awesomeness. I think those things are important and healthy. The problem starts when we believe the lie that we are defined from the outside.

The truth is that a real woman is not defined by her appearance. A real woman is not defined by weight, style, physical attributes, clothing, shoes, hair, makeup. A real woman is defined by who she is, who she was made to be and the God who created her with purpose and destiny.

Maybe if we all realized that we are beautiful just because we were created to carry the beauty of the divine and share that beauty with the world, we would start living a little differently. Think about it, what is more beautiful than a woman stopping to wipe tears from little eyes and help a smile reappear? What is more beautiful than reaching a hand to someone no one else sees and showing them they have value? What is more beautiful than the one who brings food to the hungry, water to the thirsty? When someone stops the chaos for a moment of conversation and tenderness?

When we will stop being distracted by the trivial and start living the eternal? Love is forever.

When we carry the divine, we are beautiful.

I am beautiful because He is beauty and He lives in me.

Life Beyond Comfort

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When the comfortable numb ceases to be comfortable, we can choose to escape and join the living or we can choose to delve deeper into denial. It is possible to stuff feelings into caverns we visit only when useful for some advantage. We can justify the remnant with clever notions about self preservation. But to truly feel is an adventure for the bravest of souls. To live deeply unafraid of the breaking takes resolve and courage.

We continue steadfast into the fray while the waves of life beat us hard into jagged edges of rock and earth. We continue to focus on prizes unseen though our eyes flinch to blink at offenses hurled at us headlong.

We will not be silenced when the night begs for songs of praise. We will not grimace at the need set before us as we offer more than what logic compels us to bring to the table of the hurt and lonely or sick and tired.

We will look past the present to the hope of glory when all seems stacked against us…when the walls we’ve built crumble to dust around us…when our towers of achievement turn to pillars of salt good only to season us with grace.

We will fight passed normal to the place where life begins, where we end. The place where our plans give way to his purpose.

There we will find the fullness of joy.