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Discovering Why

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why

Perhaps I’m easily excitable. Perhaps I am always searching. Perhaps the promise of hope makes my heart beat wildly. Perhaps…

I utter simple prayers each day that God would take my selfish heart and expand it outward. I pray that I would truly love others and that maybe I could connect with another human in a way that’s meaningful. That in this massive stage where the tragedy unfolds, I might be able to play a part in the resolution. Where the Kingdom of God meets the longing of man, I would reach inward and help another to stand whole and restored.

Then I go about my day. sit alone in my office and do my job. I go about my life running from task to task and forget to stop and look. I sometimes forget to care. Then I crumble into the pillow exhausted after the day and feel as though there must be something more.

I love my job! I adore my family! I consider myself to be highly blessed and favored. Please don’t misunderstand the previous statements to mean I’m ill-satisfied with my life. I am most certainly not. But, I also realize that the deep longing of my heart to influence and reach others is born from the Spirit of God and his deep desire to reach men and women and show this his everlasting love and promise. It is inherent in the heart of a follower of Jesus to love others. It’s a consequence of a life surrendered. Perhaps I’m just a Christian.

I made a decision this week that seemed so unlike me and started a new venture with my husband. Here I am, this shy girl who has always struggled a bit making conversation with people I don’t know and I’ve started a business that requires me to communicate and share with everyone I meet in order to succeed. The funny thing is that despite the fact that it is so unlike anything I ever imagine myself doing, I KNOW with certainty that God is in it. He confirmed it in so many ways and I’ve been truly excited and completely full since making the commitment to run with it.

I made a decision that if I’m ever going to reach people, I need to learn to reach. I cannot remain stuck unable to start a conversation and expect relationships to spontaneously combust before me. I’ve spent the week thinking about my “why”. Why am I doing this? There are several reasons but the biggest one is that I know I’m called to be love to others. How can I ever help others if I don’t reach?

I’ve also realized that we spend our time spinning our wheels in the day to day. My husband is a business owner and works so hard. Often, 50-60 hours per week. I work full time as well. We have four children at home going in four different directions every day. We are the epitome of busy! I’ve found an opportunity to build a business that offers the potential of financial and time freedom. I desire to work smarter and build our dream of enjoying the time we have with our family and taking back our lives. Yes, it will take work and sacrifice for awhile, but the promise of time freedom is worth the work. Imagine what I can give back to the kingdom with financial freedom and time freedom in my grasp!

My “why” is simple. The ability to give. I desire to give of myself to others. I desire to give the gift of time to my family. I desire to give financially to those in need and to the furtherance of the Kingdom of God. I’m sure there will be those who think I’m crazy or think my goals are unattainable. That’s okay with me. Nothing good was ever accomplished by living life for the approval of others.

We are building a team in the US and branching out to Canada this month as well. I would be remiss if I didn’t put the plug out there that you can join us in our endeavor and find your “why” as well. Click here to find out about our business and join our team. Or visit our products page and support us by being a customer. Above all, pray for us and our new endeavor that God would build our team and expand our territory and be glorified first and foremost in all that we do. Thank you!

*Addendum:  This post was in no way intended to be a shameless marketing ploy but rather an update on what’s going on in my life and an attempt to get you, my readers, thinking about your “why”. Why do you do what you do? Make everything you do count!

 

 

Does Modesty Matter?

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Photo by the Associated Press

Photo by the Associated Press

What does it mean to be modest? The dictionary defines it as “behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.” Churches have defined it based on 1 Timothy 2:9-10, “in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” We’ve argued the topic at length. I remember being told as a young girl that I should beware not to cause a man to lust. I couldn’t, as a young girl, understand this statement. My parents were even asked to leave a church they pastored as a result of my mom being caught red-‘legged’ in a pair of shorts in her own home when an elder stopped by un-announced. So believe me, I understand the abuse of women who were pounded with shame and legalism using the mallet of modesty.

That being said, I think we do a disservice to women and men alike by refusing to have the conversation about modest apparel or by stating that modest dress, being a subjective concept to begin with, is irrelevant to our present culture and should be abandoned in light of freedom of expression. I stumbled across  this article  this morning. For those of you who won’t take the time to read it, it is a response by Rachel Held Evans to a recent presentation by Jessica Rey regarding the evolution of the swimsuit and her new line of modest swimwear. I highly recommend watching Ms. Rey’s presentation here. Ms. Evans seemingly contends that since the church has used the issue of modesty to shame women into the notion that they are responsible for a man’s lust toward them and since most biblical passages relating to modesty are aimed more specifically at materialism, woman should be free to wear whatever they want without regard to how their clothing and appearance will affect the men (and women) around them.

It’s not the only area in scripture where we’ve used similar premises either, I might add. I’ve heard many women say they’d prefer to remove the scriptural concept of submission in marriage as well. The problem isn’t so much that submission or modesty are restrictive, it’s that they have been misused and abused. It’s no secret that the church has used concepts pertaining to godly living to condemn and even abuse people. Oftentimes, this is done to justify one’s own sinful tendencies. Christian men may use modesty as an excuse, “If she didn’t dress that way, I wouldn’t lust.” The truth is that lust is a heart condition as Jesus stated in Matthew 5:29, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” It is never acceptable to shift the blame for one’s sinfulness onto another. Jesus clearly puts the onus on the individual when he continues saying that if your eye offends you, pluck it out.

I remember this concept confusing me when I was a teenager and being told not to cause a man to lust. I didn’t understand it. I thought, “why doesn’t he just not look?” And there is some truth there. Men and women are responsible for their own actions and their own sins. If something is causing you to stumble, look away, or like Joseph when Potiphar’s wife got naked and tried to seduce him, RUN!!! FLEE!!! Get the heck out of there. You are responsible! Period!

Still, Paul also speaks about not eating meat sacrificed to idols if it offends your neighbor. As in just about everything, there is a balance. While women are certainly entitled to looking fashionable and pretty. They need to examine their motivations when it comes to issues of modesty.

It’s true that the conflicting voices are growing louder in our culture. The over-sexualization and objectification of women is everywhere you turn. Somehow, this is being sold to us as not only acceptable but as empowering to woman. The notion that to show off our bodies gives us freedom and power is inaccurate, however. My very astute daughter noticed recently that certain entertainers who call themselves feminists are most known for their ability to dance provocatively (while singing) wearing very little clothing. They brandish their sexuality calling it empowerment while, in actuality, they further the exploitative notion that women are objects to be used for sexual pleasure and entertainment. A true feminist should be touting the truth that women are so much more than showpieces, they are people with enormous capability, complex beauty and sensitivity. Women are masters at relationships, interpersonal connectivity and managing the demands of life with grace and dignity. Women are purposed for greatness that far exceeds their bodies and sexuality.

That being said, a woman’s sexuality and beauty is also a wonderful thing. When a woman is confident in herself, clothing herself in dignity and strength and faithfully following The Lord, she radiates beauty. She doesn’t need to hide from it. She doesn’t need to flaunt it. She carries it with her, inherent to who she is. There is no need for a woman to stop being interested in fashion or wear frumpy outfits to hide her from the world. We are a light and we should shine brightly.

So how do we strike a balance between the two voices? I think perhaps it begins right where the conversation began, with the heart. As women, we need to understand how our clothing (or lack thereof) may have an effect on the opposite gender. If we know the way we dress is causing an issue for another person, is it loving and Godly to continue dressing that way?

We need to begin having an honest inner dialog with ourselves. Why do we feel compelled to show a little more skin? Is it really a question of our being comfortable that way? I think for many women it’s more a matter of competition if we’re being honest. We feel like if we don’t look a certain way, we won’t be noticed anymore or we won’t be considered beautiful. We may even feel like it’s the only way to keep our husbands looking our way and not toward the gal in the grocery store who isn’t afraid to flaunt it. (side-note: my ex-husband was a sex addict and I can assure you, this tactic doesn’t work. Lust is a heart issue and he will always look elsewhere if it’s in his heart to do so. It has nothing to do with you no matter what the enemy of your soul screams in your ear…but that’s another blog post.)

Is it loving to wear clothing that makes it necessary for every Christian man to “run” and look away to maintain his integrity? Is it loving to wear clothing that makes other women feel uncomfortable being around you because they either feel it necessary to compete with you or protect their husbands and sons from you? It may seem like a good and honorable notion to dress for oneself but it’s not biblical. We are instructed biblically to put the needs of others before our own. (Matthew 22:36-40). 1 Cor. 8:13 “Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.” Col. 3:17, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus” It seems to me that if we are going to take a position here, wouldn’t the best one be to err on the side of love and respect for the needs of others rather than a desire to do whatever we want and not be restricted?

We have a responsibility to teach our daughters a little more than the do’s and don’ts. We should be comfortable broaching the subjects of lust, sexuality and attraction with our children. They will hear many messages from the world. Shouldn’t we be sure that they know the beauty of God’s design for sex? Instead of talking merely about the negatives of an issue, we should discuss the positives. There is something wonderful about knowing that certain things are for my husband’s eyes only. There is something wonderful in trusting in one another’s commitment to honor a marriage as well. We need to start talking about integrity, self-respect and dignity instead of shame and condemnation. I find that people tend to follow vision. Give your kids a clear vision of why it’s good to maintain modest dress and purity and they are more apt to go for it. Give them a no-no list and they won’t be quite as enthusiastic.

I know it isn’t always easy making a stand for something that isn’t necessarily in keeping with the tides of culture. Still, I firmly believe that one can look fashionable and beautiful without compromising modest standards and dignity. I firmly believe that removing biblical standards on the basis of culture is a dangerous proposition. I firmly believe that women are worth more than the what they look like in micro-mini skirts and halter tops. I firmly believe that a hedonistic culture focused on self and individual happiness would be impacted most by a remnant of believers determined to serve and love others more than themselves. I firmly believe that true freedom comes from the knowledge that we are loved immensely by God and His standards are there to protect and guide us rather than to inhibit us. Modesty is important and relevant even now in this generation and we need to continue to have conversations about it.

All I am for all you are

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“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1-2

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Sticks

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Sticks

My son has a thing for sticks. He collects every good stick he can find. At any given time you’ll see him out in the yard waving a stick around like it’s a ninja staff. He keeps the collection in an untidy pile right next to the front door. I’ve found sticks in the laundry, sticks in the furniture, sticks in the car.

I admit I’ve never fully understood the fascination. I am, after all, a little lacking when it comes to the way of the ninja. Still I can see, in my own way, through his imagination.
I watch him as he dive kicks off of the big rock, making contact with a host of marauders attacking him. He spins to the left, staff waving behind him as the enemy flees. He is a master hiding in the shadows just waiting for his foes to make a move.

I wonder when it is in our lives that we stop seeing ourselves winning the battle. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood we often lose that warrior mindset. Where we were once valiant and invincible, we now see ourselves as weak and conquered.

The opposite should be true. When we are young we need a protector. We need someone to watch over us and keep us safe from the enemies that might surround. We do not yet possess the wisdom to know the difference between the ‘rights’ and the ‘wrongs’ before us. So we seek guidance from those wiser than ourselves, our parents, grandparents and mentors. Yet, here we are now, the parents, the mentors, the ones with the answers and we run scared when the challenges come like we are victims.

When did the enemy become more valiant than us? When did we give up our warrior staff?

Maybe it’s time we started collecting sticks again. We could pile them up by our front door so when we leave the house each day we leave armed with love, patience, joy…whatever we need. We would have our own personal arsenal with which to face the enemy.

Even better still, we have at our disposal a sword of truth, a breastplate of righteousness and a shield of faith. Perhaps it’s time we start wielding it with skill again. Perhaps it’s time we stand in the yard and open up our imaginations and face our giants. The truth is, it doesn’t take much to defeat them. In the end all we need is a little faith and a slingshot.

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You see, we have become the Giants. We who follow Christ, have grown in stature, maturity and wisdom. We possess all the skills that we need for life and godliness. We, fearless few, can go out and storm the gates of hell taking them by force. They can never stand against us.

So let the marauders come. Let them come and try to steal our joy. Let them try to steal our peace. We, the fearless few, will stand like ninjas wielding our weapons in the face of evil.

All it really takes is a little childlike faith and the knowledge that we are more than conquerors. We can accomplish everything that we set out to accomplish. Fight on, fearless few, fight on.

Renewed

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stage light

The whole of the gospel speaks of dying to ones self in order that Christ may live within. I have often prayed the prayer that David prayed in Psalm 51:10

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

There’s risk involved with praying such prayers. For the heart of man to be clean, it must first be revealed unclean. As a general principle, people don’t enjoy having their sins revealed. For sin to remain in our hearts, it needs to hide away from the light. My pastor used to always say that sin acted much like cockroaches; when the light is turned on, the roaches scatter. They aren’t comfortable hanging out in the light for everyone to see them. There’s danger in the light. Light inherently defeats darkness.

Light

So we hide and hope no one sees who we really are. An atheist friend of mine once told me that his most fundamental problem with Christianity in principle was the notion that men (and women) are inherently sinners. He preferred to start with the premise that men are inherently good. It’s a nice thought, but in practice, it just doesn’t hold true. There is vast evil bound up in the hearts and imaginations of man.

More striking is the fact that when we do something ‘wrong’, we inherently know that we’ve done something wrong. Ben Carson mentioned this phenomenon in his book, One Nation. He recounted a story about when he shot a bird with his BB gun. No one had told him not to shoot a bird, but he felt so guilty and knew that what he’d done was wrong. We do sinful things and feel the effects of those sins not just in respect to consequences but in our hearts.

The beauty of grace is that God has provided a way that we can live in freedom from guilt and shame. Sin no longer holds us captive because it was crucified and buried so that we can be raised to new life with Jesus Christ. Though we were once slaves to sin, we are now completely free. Hence, whatever is revealed in our hearts as unclean or wrong is not a source of condemnation but rather a reason to rejoice. Once we are aware there is an area of need, we can become free from that which held us bound. With every need, we find more freedom. The closer we draw to Christ and the more we take on his likeness, the more we are able to find complete peace and safety.

Suddenly, nothing can hold us back. Where once the voices of our accusers rang out, the voice of our Savior answers that he remembers our sin no longer. Though they call us a slave, he calls us a son. There is absolute freedom in truth.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

“Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.'” John 8:34-36

“Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law,  to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba, Father!’  Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ” Galatians 4:3-7

Some have mistakenly believed that Christianity is a religion of guilt but the opposite is true. The gospel was never about finding fault that is a human thing to do, not ordained by the divine. In fact when Jesus was asked the question in John 9:2-3 “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” The disciples were interested in assigning fault. Jesus was interested in revealing the glory of the God through healing.

Yes, God hates sin. He hated it so much that he made provisions so that it would never have a hold or claim on us again. That is the gospel. That Jesus LOVES! That Jesus HEALS! That we are FREE!

The next time your accusers come (even if that accuser is your own inner voice) and try to tell you aren’t good enough, answer back in truth. That, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8. He doesn’t demand perfection. He doesn’t sit around counting our mistakes and writing them in the stars. He is faithful to show us who we are in the light of his holiness and we then can continue conquering those things that try to hold us captive. We have been reconciled to him and he is ever working to draw us near.

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There is no shame or guilt for the former things or even in the ways we fail today or tomorrow. Like a loving father, he continues to love us and allows us to start each new day whole and clean before him. Rather than hiding from our innermost battles, we should stand up and confront them with the power of the gospel and the knowledge that we are more than conquerors and we are free from their groping little claws. One touch of his blood and all is renewed.

 

Listen

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The same phrase keeps resonating in my head this week, “Have you finished doing the last thing God asked you to do?” I’m thinking the answer is probably “no” but I can’t remember the last thing he asked me to do, which makes me realize I’m not listening as well as I think I am, which makes me resolve to tune in today, which makes me a better person, which makes the world a little bit better.

When to Speak

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mouth

Oh the tongue, unruly little member that it is. So hard to control yet able to kindle sparks into wildfires so quickly. More devastating is the heart of man, so quickly devising opinions; so quick to judge and having direct access to the aforementioned member. This arrangement makes it difficult to control myself especially when I feel justified in believing that I have the answer. If only I were wise enough always to listen that still small voice of the spirit reminding me that the more I think I know, the less I really do. There is this vast array of knowledge to be acquired. There’s grandeur that we’ve only begun to understand. There’s perspective we aren’t privy to. Things that motivate the heart of others that we can’t understand because we wear different shoes and walk different roads. We are different.

There are times when it’s absolutely imperative that we speak our minds. There are times when we stand as a lone voice in the darkness proclaiming light. At these times, I won’t stay silent. I will never allow the opinions of others to sway the things I know to be true in my heart. Still, there’s a difference in speaking truth when necessary or saying things just to make your position known.

I think the balance lies in the heart. Are my words motivated by love or vindication? Am I seeking to correct in order to edify or am I seeking to put someone in their place?

Lord, let me speak only what I hear you speaking? God, help me to seek you before I seek my own version of ‘rightness’. I want to be a beacon shining light and compassion rather than a ranting, crushing, know-it-all. Let me be an encouragement! Make me more like you.

Heroes

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I always thought my dad was a hero. I think a lot of us feel that way when we’re growing up. Fathers possess super powers to fix everything from squeaky hinges to teary moments and automotive mayhem. I still call my dad when the car is making a goofy noise and I’m worried. My husband will say something normal like “Take it to the mechanic.” and I’ll say something slightly irrational like, “I’ll call Dad and ask him.” As if Dad is going to be able to help from 1170 miles away over a phone. But my husband doesn’t have the same memories I have. I remember standing next to the open hood of the car watching Daddy fix everything so many times. I remember watching the car that should have been put out to pasture long ago still making its way down the interstate because of his powers.

I remember long summer days sitting by the lake reeling in fish. I remember pretending to fall asleep in the car just so he’d carry me inside late at night. I remember hearing him preach and then practicing my preaching skills to my congregation of stuffed squirrels and bunnies later that afternoon. I remember his smile in the audience while I sang a solo. I remember when he taught me how to play a “D” Chord on the guitar and trying SO hard to get my fingers to stretch far enough to play “G”. (I’ve got it down now by the way.)

My step-dad was equally heroic. When I wandered in the woods and encountered a rattlesnake or water moccasin, he would come save the day. He invested hours looking at boring shells and teaching me how to jump into a wave. He listened and laughed when I made up goofy jokes that didn’t deserve laughter. He put up with more than his share of tickle wars even though he hates to be tickled. We had fun. We laughed often and hard. We still do.

Many of us are blessed enough to have wonderful memories with our dads. Many of us are blessed to watch similar stories unfold between our husbands and our children. My husband is a hero. He nobly walks out his faith each day in front of our children. He works hard. He sacrifices time watching (and playing) golf to wrestle and laugh with our baby boy. He gives of himself and what is more heroic than that? I am blessed to be his wife. I am blessed by him as a father.

Still, even more heroic is the love of our Heavenly Father. He gave so that we can live. He gives abundantly. Grace and love flow freely from His hands, from His heart even when we don’t deserve it. Strength is defined in Him. Selflessness begins in Him. Life was and is breathed in Him.

Heroes give.

Today, I am thankful for the heroes in my life. The world is a better place because of heroes like you. Happy Father’s Day!

Mountaintops, Loaves and Fishes

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Loaves-and-fishes

I’ve heard it said that it’s the moments that define us. Like Abraham marking the spot on Mount Moriah where he was willing to sacrifice all and found favor in the sight of The Living God, we all have our moments.

I was 19 and running. I was pregnant and alone. My boyfriend had made it abundantly clear that I was on my own. He not only wanted nothing to do with the baby, but was threatening me, so I ran. I didn’t tell my family about the pregnancy. Oddly at around 6 1/2 months in, my father in Ohio heard from his neighbor (who I’d met once) that I was expecting. Dad called Mom in Florida and Mom called me in Georgia. I finally confessed then because I knew at some point, it would have to come out (in more ways than one).

Less than a year before, I was a good Christian girl planning Bible college and touting the benefits of abstinence to my friends as if I knew anything. Then I broke. A few months passed and I was there on my living room floor sinking in reality. How on earth was I going to support this baby? The job I’d secured before moving to Georgia had fallen through leaving me working at Wendy’s for $4.75 an hour. That particular day, they’d cut my hours.

That night, in my Wendy’s uniform, I finally reached the end of me. I remember the taste of the tears as I cried out to the Lord. I remember the longing of my broken heart, the desire to raise my child in the ways of the Lord, the desire to offer my child so much more than I had ever had. I remember the moment. I remember the prayer. In my heart, I see that altar, my Mount Moriah, standing as a testament in my memory of the moment I gave in. The moment I was willing to give it all to my King and the moment he freed me and began to rebuild me.

That wasn’t my only Moriah. The thing about offering ourselves as living sacrifices Romans 8 style is that living sacrifices can crawl off the altar from time to time. I know I’ve taken my life back into my hands more times than I can count. It’s then that we have to look back and remember those Moriah moments. I know my way isn’t the best choice. He always knows what he’s doing.

The truth is, that baby he blessed me with was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. She grounded me, pulled me back to the cross, realizing that I couldn’t do it alone. She propelled me to stop wasting time and start working toward an education and a future so I could make a better life for her. She was exactly what I needed. She was the greatest gift my longing heart could have ever received.

I watch her now, almost grown, and I’m so thankful for the young lady she’s become. She amazes me daily. You see, God doesn’t just give us beauty for ashes. He redeems and recreates. He produces life out of nothing. I was reading in John when Jesus fed the multitude with just a few loaves and fishes. What amazes me is not that he multiplied the small, but that he made sure nothing was lost. John 6:12 “So when they were filled, He said to His disciples, “Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost.”  God doesn’t waste our moments, he multiplies them and gathers up the fragments. He makes sure nothing is lost. Nothing is left behind. He will take every fragment of our broken lives and redeem it into something useful and lovely. It may look like smelly fish and simple bread now, but just wait. Soon, he may use you to feed a multitude. You could become the miracle.

He took my fragments and gave me a miracle and he’s still building. I can’t wait to see what he does next. But it’s all dependent on our willingness to allow him to take our loaves and fishes. Give him your stuff, all of it, and watch him do something incredible.