Hidden

Maybe there’s something poetic about hiding in plain sight.

Or maybe it’s weakness.

Or maybe it’s strength to stay composed while the world crumbles and stirs around you.

Maybe it’s survival. Maybe it’s faith.

Maybe I’m not hiding at all! maybe I’m standing.

“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15

Hero

I have all these heroes in the faith..people who shine bright amidst the noise and impact the world with light.

Tonight I wonder if I’m a “hero”.

Can I be one who shows a glimmer of light in darkness? Am I beacon to someone holding on, trying to breathe when the air seems thin?

Is it enough to live and love? Is it enough to show up everyday?

I think it is. We don’t need megaphones, we need presence. We don’t need lights and applause. Maybe a smile is enough.

Think about who impacted you the most on your journey. Did they need accolades or were they just there?

The beauty in life is in showing up in the small things. The big things are great but the small things are magic.

Shine when the light is missing. Shine when the dim overwhelms.

Be, unapologetically, you. You were born for this!

A Note from Bionic Me

I love a good challenge. I love to learn and absorb new things around me. I started using a new computer program today that I’ve never used and had to force myself to stop messing with it, because I have other things to do and I can learn more later. I often think I can do anything (within reason). At least in most settings.

I find myself wondering today if this is one of those situations where my greatest weakness is my greatest strength overextended. Let me explain. Sometimes the things that make us great, can be pushed too far and end up being our downfall. For example, I’m very compassionate and empathetic. This is a strength. But, when I allow my empathy and compassion to drive in some situations, I can be a giant pushover and let people walk all over me.

When it comes to my bionic, superwoman, learn it all, be the fastest, do better, mentality, I am really good at a lot of things. I’m an excellent employee, friend, singer. I want to be the best I can be so I work until I get it done. This is a strength, but in light of the gospel, this can be my downfall. See, God isn’t likely to be too impressed with my valiant strides towards greatness. In fact, he resists arrogance and pride and sent His son to die for mankind who had spent thousands of years trying to prove they were good enough, only to find they needed a better way. Jesus is that way!

God doesn’t expect me to be superwoman, yet I will try like mad to show Him how capable and “good” I am. I was reading in Genesis 11 this morning. Man says, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves” Gen 11:4. The key phrase here is “let us make a name for ourselves”. They were doing the exact thing we all do sometimes, trying to do things all on our own and prove how great we are.

If you know the story, God decides to confuse their language and scatters them all over the earth so they wouldn’t try that again. The place is called Babel, which means confusion (It’s also the beginning of Babylon and you know Babylon ended up taken God’s people captive and even shows up ago in Revelation). The point is, when I try to prove my worth and be good enough, it only makes me captive to confusion and exhaustion. But Jesus came so that I can have life and rest and peace and FINISHED the work on the cross. That’s all I need. If only I could learn once and for all to REST in that.

Don’t let your greatest strengths get out of balance and become your greatest weaknesses. Don’t work so hard you forget to live. Don’t let your arrogance get in the way of the freedom and blessings that you don’t have to earn…they’re freely given. Let your faith and His strength be enough.

From your friendly neighborhood Bionic woman. (I was named after the bionic woman by the way, but that’s a story for another time.)

The Blood will Never Lose its Power

I never do anything like this so welcome to a first on the Inspired by the Comforter site. After speaking with a friend earlier, I couldn’t help but start singing a couple of choruses from some old songs I grew up on. I was lied to for years. The world around me, and yes, even the church and Christian content and media, told me over and over again that if I were better or more holy or enough, then God would be moving in my life, my family. My ex-husband wouldn’t have been an addict if I were a better wife. My life would be perfect and sunny and roses would sprout from my finger tips if only I could get my act together. I call bull! Excuse my language, but honey, no one can tell me that my efforts mattered more than the cross.

Jesus paid the price for my sin, my shame, everything, once and for all on the cross. “It is finished” means something. Yes, I will spend everyday of my life trying to be more like Jesus and I will be continually being sanctified and growing in my faith, but I don’t freakin’ have to be ENOUGH before I come to the cross! I come to the cross because in and of myself, I can’t be enough and wasn’t meant to ever be enough. I can’t be good enough apart from Christ. No one can. But that’s the beauty! He never expected us to be! He IS enough! And therefore, in Him, I am enough. I have everything I need and NO one can condemn me or take away the power of what He accomplished. No one can pluck me from His hand.

I write this now after speaking to a friend who is being lied to in the same way I used to be. I learned to call bull on the bull and punch it in the gut with the truth of the gospel and I see her beginning to do the same. So for my friend and anyone else who may need to hear it, I’m adding this short video I took a minute ago in my office at work (don’t tell my boss haha) to hopefully encourage you. It’s not my best, but that doesn’t matter, because like anything else, we hold up what we have and who we are to the light of the cross and He does what He will with it.

Don’t Waste the Chains

I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime. I used to feel a little sorry for myself if I’m being honest. I can remember sad, pitiful, moments when I whined at God because “He must love everyone else more than me since life was so unfair”, blah blah blah. I’m ashamed to admit that, but it’s the truth. I’ve long since adjusted my attitude towards suffering, hardship, and trials. I can either allow the hardships of my life to break me, or I can allow them to build me. I choose the latter.

It’s been through some of the hardest times of my life, that I’ve found what it means to truly live. It’s in the suffering that I’ve learned to find true joy. It’s in the anxious moments, that I’ve learned what it means to have peace and to lean in and trust more than I thought possible. It’s in pain, I’ve learned empathy. It’s in rejection, I’ve learned love. For all of these things, I am truly, honestly, not just throwing out a cliché, grateful!

Paul learned this as well. Philippians 1:12 NLT “I want you to know, dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News” He was in prison when he wrote those words. Yet, he used even his chains to further the Gospel! Nothing is wasted.

We live in a culture, particularly in the church, where we rail against suffering. We don’t want it! We don’t believe it should happen to us despite the fact that Jesus said in John 16:33 NLT, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.“. We’ve created entire doctrines based on the avoidance of pain, sickness, and suffering. Ultimately, we want to control things. We feel if we were better, we’d get better things. If we are good enough, we will be blessed. We’ve missed the point. We ARE blessed but not because bad things don’t happen to us and around us. We are blessed because He has overcome the world! (also in John 16:33) We are blessed because in the worst moments, He is there to strengthen us, give us peace, and we will come through it stronger and better! Remember in Philippians 1:21, Paul says, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”

In the worst moments of my life, not only do I have the opportunity to grow, but I have an opportunity to shine. When nothing and no one can hold me back from doing what God called me to do, those around me get the benefit. They can not only see Christ strengthening me, but I’m able to love better…to show them the love of Christ better. Sometimes, it’s in the midst of the chains, that we can spread the most freedom. Like Paul said, “Everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the good news.

Don’t waste your chains! Use them! Fight! Hold on tight and trust that nothing can stop you! Grow! Most importantly, learn to love deeply, trust without limits, and spread the love of God like you’ve never thought possible! You are a warrior! Don’t ever forget it.

Crank up the Music

Have you ever read something and you just can’t stop thinking about it? Saturday morning, I read a passage of Scripture, I’ve read probably one hundred times, but I never saw it. I’ve spent a lot of times studying the book of 2 Kings. I have a profound fascination with Elisha. I have even considered writing a book about it but I haven’t done it yet….maybe soon. Still, despite the many times I’ve read this, I never noticed this simple little thing hanging out in 2 Kings chapter 3.

I’m a musician, as many of you know. I have been involved in worship ministry in one form or another for the last 40 years of my life. I’m only 43 so it’s pretty obvious that music and worship have been instrumental (no pun intended…okay maybe a little intended) in who I am.

In 2 Kings 3, the king of Israel, Joram, and the king of Judah, Jehoshaphat have teamed up and are going to battle against Moab. Side note – I’ve always liked saying Jehoshaphat! It’s just fun. I feel like Buddy the Elf saying “Francisco” over and over again, “Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat”, but I digress. They decide they should ask the prophet of the Lord what they should do. Good idea Jehoshaphat! So they go to Elisha, who honestly, isn’t thrilled about the idea of helping them at all. He isn’t a big fan of Joram, who is still doing evil in the sight of the Lord and says in verse 13, “I want no part of you. Go to the pagan prophets of your father and mother!”

Still, despite Elisha’s attitude toward Joram, he agrees out of respect for…wait for it…Jehoshaphat. See it’s just fun! Anyway, the thing I never saw is in verse 15. Elisha agrees to ask the Lord for them, and in order to do that he says, “Bring me a musician.” 2 Kings 3:15. “Then it happened, when the musician played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him.” 2 Kings3:16.

The outcome here isn’t what I want to emphasize. What I can’t stop thinking about is that when Elisha’s own attitude was not in a space to find the word of the Lord, he knew how to pull himself out of it and into the presence of God. He knew that in in worship, God would reveal Himself. The hand of the Lord moved as the musician played.

I was talking with a friend recently who said they cannot stand the “worship” part of church. She meant the music. She just doesn’t get it and doesn’t understand why it is so repetitive etc. I get it. I also acknowledge that everyone has a different style and various worship expressions are necessary because we are all different and God speaks to us in different ways. Still never underestimate the power and impact that worship and music has on the lives and spirits of mankind.

If the hand of the Lord came upon Elijah through worship and he, Elisha, the man with a double portion of the anointing of Elijah needed them to call for a musician to change his attitude and hear from heaven, then it only makes sense why I fundamentally need music in my life. I am designed to absorb music. I feel it deeply. I sing loudly. I feel the atmosphere shift around me through melody and rhythm. It’s a part of me. It’s obviously a part of others as well and it’s in me so I can help others find and hear from heaven.

My point is two-fold. Number one, if something is in you, let it out! It’s in you for a reason. I’m a singer for a reason so I better SING! Whatever you have to offer, don’t keep it to yourself. Be who you are! Go out and change the world. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it anyway. God created you for a purpose and it wasn’t just to hide in the shadows. Live BIG!

Number two, if you’re struggling today, crank up the music and see what happens. Allow God to speak to you. Meditate on His word and listen. You never know what He will do. Crank it up! Dance! Sing! Listen! God is always speaking, not always how we think He will. It may be through music. It may be through a butterfly flying by your window. You never know, but if you have eyes to see and ears to hear, He will reveal Himself to you. Don’t miss it!

Light and Gravity…and Tears…

If the world were made of tears, I’m sure I would have cried enough to hold us all.

If the tears I cried became substance, then no one would ever fall.

If light were there by chance, we’d all be doomed.

If light is life and God is light, then baby it’s high noon!

Never underestimate the value of a God who sees and the wealth that comes through struggle and a life well lived.

His hands can hold a universe, they can certainly hold me…and you.

Maybe we can reflect some of it…

This is my story

So there’s this thing about life…

We all have a story and that story defines us, empowers us, or derails us.

What will your story be?

Will you tell it openly or live in fear of what repercussions it may bring?

I, too long, lived in fear of my story.

My story, even the worst parts, makes me who I am. It makes me better.

Don’t shy away from the hard chapters in an effort to hide. Own it!

Be unapologetically you…the “you” God created you to be.

God created us with purpose and destiny.

Our stories make us stronger and reveal the glory of God to the world.

Fear has no place here.

Shine!

Show His goodness. Because no matter what, you’re standing. Even when your legs give out and it’s too heavy. Tomorrow will bring strength. If not tomorrow, then the next day or the day after that.

Never ever give up! Someone needs you to succeed.

Go all in! Make today your moment! Shine! If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the next person who is watching.

It is Enough!

This post is a little different from my standard posts. I’m sharing with you what I wrote this morning while reading my Bible. Last night was a particularly difficult night for me. This morning, Is brighter because His word brings life and hope. Hopefully, you can glean something from it that will encourage you today. If you’re unfamiliar with the stories I’m referencing, read I Kings chapters 18 & 19.

It is Enough!

God showed Himself mightily through Elijah. In I Kings 18, he proves himself by sending fire to consume the sacrifice and turns the hearts of the people back to the Lord. Then he hears the “sound of abundance of rain” and prays until the clouds form and outruns Ahab’s chariot. Still, he (Elijah) was under a tremendous amount of pressure and adversity. By chapter 19 of I Kings, he’s running for his life from Jezebel, and it finally overwhelms him. He prays in verse 4 that he would die, “It is enough! Now Lord take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” He is tired and feels like a failure.

How many times in my life, have I felt exactly this way? The heaviness of it all gets to me from time to time, no matter how hard I try. I don’t think Elijah was suicidal. He wasn’t trying to hurt himself and if he really wanted to die, he wouldn’t have bothered running from Jezebel. He just needed to rest and find the voice and peace of God in the middle of the pain.

God was there and shows up to sustain him, just like he always does for us. For Elijah, he sent an angel to tap him on the shoulder and feed him. The angel says to him in verse 7, “The journey is too great for you”. God know what we can handle and when it’s too much for us. He doesn’t expect us to do it on our own or in our own strength. He is there with compassion and provision when we don’t have the strength to keep going. His provision strengthens us. Elijah went, “in the strength of that food” all the way to the “mountain of God”.

“What are you doing here Elijah?”

God could have been asking him this because he should have been somewhere else and he was hiding out in a cave instead, but I think God asked him this because He wanted Elijah to see where he was. He wanted Elijah to see his purpose and who he was and who God is.

“Then He said, ‘Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” I Kings 19:11-12

When Elijah heard the “still small voice”, he wraps his face in his mantle, the symbol of his prophetic authority and “went out and stood”. “What are you doing here Elijah?” It’s then, when Elijah knows why he’s there and recognizes who he is and that he’s not alone, that he goes back and follows the instructions of the Lord and continues the work of the Lord.

Sometimes this life, these trials, are too much for me. I lay down just like Elijah and pray “It is enough!” God is there for me as well. He sees and provides and leads me through. I need to lean in. I need to trust Him. When he says, “Arise and eat.”, for me that means devouring the word of God and letting His word sustain me. I need to realize that though the winds, and earthquakes, and fire, break the rocks into pieces, He is still, unmoving, constant. The seemingly smallest of things contain the most meaning. I need to lean in and steady myself in that! I need to remember who I am.

Elijah wrapped his face in his mantle, his purpose. My purpose is to glorify God in and through everything…to show Him to the world. When I remember why I’m here, I can stand up.

Like, Elijah, I also need to remember I’m not alone. God has placed people around me strategically to fight alongside me. I don’t have to find alone, and I can rest in that. Still, Elijah had to go out and appoint and anoint them. I need to stop being afraid of being vulnerable and be willing to reach out and accept help and support. That’s a tough one for me, but I’m working on it.

Optimism

I don’t want to be here. This place, my soul hates, this void of existence….but here I am. People talk from the outside about who I should be, who I am, the next moves I should make in this existence that is my life. What do they know?

This place is a place of pain, of heartache and grief. No one else knows the ache. Similar stories are of no relevance here. This moment is mine and I am alone in it.

So a word of advice from the depths of a bleeding soul…don’t say you understand. Don’t say it’s okay. Don’t try to minimize or trivialize. Just be there. A person with skin on who actually cares is all that’s required.

Grief takes many forms and actualizes for many reasons. You probably can’t fully understand so be someone to lean on. Empathy takes many forms. At the end of the day, we’re all different. We’ve had different histories, different struggles. What feels one way to you may feel entirely different to me.

Embrace the difference. Hold in your hand the willingness to not understand but care anyway. Humanity brings its own version of struggle and wholeness. Don’t try to assess mine based on yours. Just be there.

Tomorrow will be better and even if it’s not, life goes on. We grow. We learn. We change. Tonight I’m not settling. Tomorrow I may be a pool of self loathing. The next day, I might be a warrior. We are human.

God sees. He knows. He heals. He helps us grow. Don’t shirk from the hard things. Don’t minimize them in others. Be kind. Bring truth. Love without abandon. And just like that the world is a better place.

Sincerely, a broken hearted optimist.