You are me when the light dims.
You are me when the light shines bright
We are one. We are whole!
Who knew?!?
If tomorrow were another moment in the realm of eternity, would we notice the light?
How bright can we shine NOW?!?
If we aren’t light, who are we?
Reach for light!
I was a human once.
I lived, I breathed, I knew who I was.
It was somewhere between where husband number one left me a puddle on the floor and husband number two decided I wasn’t enough.
Maybe I’m not.
Maybe they’re not.
I’m not qualified to say.
Tonight, I’m thinking I am beyond expectations and they are the fault.
Regardless, I’m here with the pieces.
Pieces are a funny thing. They fall in random intervals. They collide with ideals. They stick themselves in places you didn’t see coming.
But you hang on, groping for tomorrow because maybe it will be better and maybe peace can be found.
Maybe, instead of the ideal that someone will rescue me, I can find solace in me and my faith and the promise of tomorrow. I am tired.
I’m tired of picking up pieces and expecting gold.
Still, I am an optimist. I believe in tomorrow.
But today is real and I need to feel it to gather the gold.
So I struggle and rest in the same breath.
I am me and for tonight, that is enough. Tomorrow may be another story.
Shine when the darkness covers.
Shine when you can’t find light.
Today is a day gone…tomorrow is eternity, so live!!!!
Random thoughts from the lost and tired.
Be you!
Bring the thunder and the light will follow…at least that’s the hope.
Call me into the deep where you are waiting
I’ve missed the feel of you
My head can hear you and my sensibilities know you but my emotions have fallen out the window.
Who have I become that my emotion is absent?
I was passion now I’m passive and that isn’t enough.
I don’t want to live in a world without feeling
It doesn’t satisfy
Reason is enough in a world of black and white but let’s be real we live in prisms
It isn’t enough for me.
I need the sunshine and the breaking of light over dim
I need to feel it
It’s who I am
And I’m not alone
We need to feel
Emotion carries us through the mundane
A world without feeling is nothing but muted strength struggling to hang on
I want to feel the daybreak
And cry when the light strikes the perfect pose
I’m not alone
I can feel it
So sing with me seekers and cry out for the dawn
It’s coming
Hang on tight
The wind spins circles around my head
I see the life before me and I wonder if I’m supposed to be who I am
What is life but the continuing of one foot before another?
Every breath, a choice
Every moment, an opportunity for a voice
Yet, I am so often silent.
This is humanity…
A million moments of the mundane, followed by a hundred moments of impact.
But the mundane…the cleaning, the dishes, the listening to my kids talk about their day…the laundry…
In these moments, I become me. The woman I’m called to be.
So I’ll write and create and care for children, and sing, and process invoices, and update databases and go on..one foot in front of the other.
And in that, I will be more than I ever imagined.
Somehow, in the grind, God created destiny and legacy and that is enough for me.
Hello, tomorrow. I’m ready to do my best. We will see what God has in store. It may be great. It may be monotonous, but if it’s for Your glory, it’s entirely worth it.
One foot in front of the other…this is life.
Today marks 365 days around the sun since you joined us here. I remember the call. You were gone. I miss you more than I can say but I know it’s okay (I swear I didn’t mean for that to rhyme).
In my heart, I see clearly the serenity of the place you last walked. In my head, I want to call you and tell you about my day, my week, the weather, the sound my car is making, the dinner I cooked tonight…the stupid, little things.
I miss you! I wish you were here to run home to. I wish you were here to remind me it’s all okay. But I’ll have to wait until we meet again. “Remember who you are”, comes to mind.
I hope this year has been your best! I hope you’ve done your “special daddy dance” (which I demonstrate for my kids often) around the streets of heaven. I hope you’ve looked down on us and smiled. I smile for you daily!
One year, 365 days and everything has changed and everything is the same. Without you…
A hole in the center filled with light.
I miss you Daddy but I know it’s alright. (Oops with the rhyming again…whatever…I’m leaving it.)
Do you ever think about who’s out there listening
I write this blog, throw these ideas into the air
But I’ll never know who hears them.
Who sees beyond the void…
I think of the words that have changed my life
The moments I stumbled across something that shook me to my soul.
There are words I’ve read that laced up my fighting boots to endure another day.
There are songs I’ve heard that became my anthem for a time.
There is greatness in the smallest of phrases that gave me the strength to keep going.
So who are you dear friend, that I’ve probably never met?
Are there melodies playing in your heart, singing sweetness and moving your feet to the rhythm of tomorrow?
Are there words hanging in the air around you waiting to be plucked, like fruit from the vine to nourish you as you march forward?
Do you know you are loved?
Can you see the romance?
The holy one calling softly, through the noise to find your ears and whisper His promise.
Can you see it?
Can I help?
I will never know. But I’ll continue to throw some words into the void to remind you.
You are seen. You are valuable. You have been created for purpose.
Listen carefully until you hear it.
So there’s this thing about life…
We all have a story and that story defines us, empowers us, or derails us.
What will your story be?
Will you tell it openly or live in fear of what repercussions it may bring?
I, too long, lived in fear of my story.
My story, even the worst parts, makes me who I am. It makes me better.
Don’t shy away from the hard chapters in an effort to hide. Own it!
Be unapologetically you…the “you” God created you to be.
God created us with purpose and destiny.
Our stories make us stronger and reveal the glory of God to the world.
Fear has no place here.
Shine!
Show His goodness. Because no matter what, you’re standing. Even when your legs give out and it’s too heavy. Tomorrow will bring strength. If not tomorrow, then the next day or the day after that.
Never ever give up! Someone needs you to succeed.
Go all in! Make today your moment! Shine! If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the next person who is watching.
The dark can be so daunting
The light can seem so dim
Still, from heaven, you are calling.
Can I hear your voice again?
No fear in death or life, though all of hell presses in
Your voice, the roaring lion, shatters mountains and hangs on the wind.
Still small voice, speak to me. I’m listening!


This post is a little different from my standard posts. I’m sharing with you what I wrote this morning while reading my Bible. Last night was a particularly difficult night for me. This morning, Is brighter because His word brings life and hope. Hopefully, you can glean something from it that will encourage you today. If you’re unfamiliar with the stories I’m referencing, read I Kings chapters 18 & 19.
It is Enough!
God showed Himself mightily through Elijah. In I Kings 18, he proves himself by sending fire to consume the sacrifice and turns the hearts of the people back to the Lord. Then he hears the “sound of abundance of rain” and prays until the clouds form and outruns Ahab’s chariot. Still, he (Elijah) was under a tremendous amount of pressure and adversity. By chapter 19 of I Kings, he’s running for his life from Jezebel, and it finally overwhelms him. He prays in verse 4 that he would die, “It is enough! Now Lord take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” He is tired and feels like a failure.
How many times in my life, have I felt exactly this way? The heaviness of it all gets to me from time to time, no matter how hard I try. I don’t think Elijah was suicidal. He wasn’t trying to hurt himself and if he really wanted to die, he wouldn’t have bothered running from Jezebel. He just needed to rest and find the voice and peace of God in the middle of the pain.
God was there and shows up to sustain him, just like he always does for us. For Elijah, he sent an angel to tap him on the shoulder and feed him. The angel says to him in verse 7, “The journey is too great for you”. God know what we can handle and when it’s too much for us. He doesn’t expect us to do it on our own or in our own strength. He is there with compassion and provision when we don’t have the strength to keep going. His provision strengthens us. Elijah went, “in the strength of that food” all the way to the “mountain of God”.
“What are you doing here Elijah?”
God could have been asking him this because he should have been somewhere else and he was hiding out in a cave instead, but I think God asked him this because He wanted Elijah to see where he was. He wanted Elijah to see his purpose and who he was and who God is.
“Then He said, ‘Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” I Kings 19:11-12
When Elijah heard the “still small voice”, he wraps his face in his mantle, the symbol of his prophetic authority and “went out and stood”. “What are you doing here Elijah?” It’s then, when Elijah knows why he’s there and recognizes who he is and that he’s not alone, that he goes back and follows the instructions of the Lord and continues the work of the Lord.
Sometimes this life, these trials, are too much for me. I lay down just like Elijah and pray “It is enough!” God is there for me as well. He sees and provides and leads me through. I need to lean in. I need to trust Him. When he says, “Arise and eat.”, for me that means devouring the word of God and letting His word sustain me. I need to realize that though the winds, and earthquakes, and fire, break the rocks into pieces, He is still, unmoving, constant. The seemingly smallest of things contain the most meaning. I need to lean in and steady myself in that! I need to remember who I am.
Elijah wrapped his face in his mantle, his purpose. My purpose is to glorify God in and through everything…to show Him to the world. When I remember why I’m here, I can stand up.
Like, Elijah, I also need to remember I’m not alone. God has placed people around me strategically to fight alongside me. I don’t have to find alone, and I can rest in that. Still, Elijah had to go out and appoint and anoint them. I need to stop being afraid of being vulnerable and be willing to reach out and accept help and support. That’s a tough one for me, but I’m working on it.
My kids teach me something everyday. Life with children is certainly an adventure. Last night as I was giving my last round of snuggles to my five-year old and tucking him in for the night, I said the words I so often say to him. “Goodnight mighty man of God. Do you know you will change the world someday?” His response was a simple, sleepy, “Uh huh”. It made me smile. There’s a sweetness to the simplicity of their honest responses. He simply said, “Uh huh,” and closed his eyes.
I began to realize something as I thought about our exchange throughout the rest of the evening. Every night I tell him he was designed with a purpose and a destiny and that he will do great things. It’s become our bedtime mantra. The thing is, he has come to believe it. I’ve spoken it over his life so many times that it’s not even something he questions or longs to understand. It’s just the truth…his truth.
How many things have I spoken of myself that I’ve come to believe as truth? How many lies have I told myself over the years that, though in my head are known for what they are, in my heart have played on repeat defining who I am? When will I become fed up enough and know who I am? The answer to that one is NOW!
I was created with purpose and destiny. I am enough. I am loved. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am forgiven. I will change the world. I am changing the world everyday. I am uniquely, fearfully, wonderfully made. And so are you!
I am honest enough to reveal these things about myself because I know I’m not alone. I know so many who seem so totally put together on the outside, but inside, are filled with doubts. We doubt so much about our greatness. We doubt it’s okay to even admit that we are destined for greatness. Our successes and failures play out like a Netflix original series, all the while, we hide the reality of who we are behind the approval of the crowd.
We crouch and minimize our achievements so we aren’t embarrassed by the criticism of others. Or we amplify and scream them to the masses in an attempt to prove that we are actually capable and worthy. Both are the same. Both are our insecurities blaring like trumpets that we are unsure.
I think the truth, the real truth, is in the ability to rest…in the ability to stop and settle once and for all that who we are is who we are meant to be. This spot in our journey is exactly the spot where we will learn what we need for the next mile. We may not have attained the goals we are working towards yet, but that doesn’t have to mean we won’t. Sure, we need to continue to grow. That’s part of the beauty and if we can rest and be at peace, and finally silence that inner voice who’s lying to us, then man, will it be beautiful. Don’t listen to the crowd. Listen to the one who calmed the seas, who hung the stars, who created you with purpose and destiny.
You were created for greatness! You will change the world! It’s up to you to decide how. It’s up to you to decide to live, I mean really LIVE, your life. It’s up to you. You are more than enough. Can I get an “Uh huh”?
INSPIRED BY THE COMFORTER 