morning

The embrace of more than time

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

When time stops do you feel it?

Is there a moment when everything is okay and the world is right and stands the test of time?

Or do we wait, with hunger, for another moment?

Maybe that’s the beauty.

Maybe the hunger fuels the fire for tomorrow.

I don’t know. I’m just you, reaching into the void, waiting for the voice of God to smile on my weakness.

Maybe clay cries out to potter longing for completion.

But the journey is worth the wait. So I’ll stand in the light, knowing the dawn is brighter.

And I wait because you’ve always met me there.

Nothing becomes something beautiful in your embrace. Sometimes it just takes a minute for me to catch up.

Exhaustion

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

Few times, in my life, have I ever felt this exhausted.

Blow me down like the air pumped into a balloon and I will pop

Mull me over with words and I will implode to nothing

Sink me in the earth with a step and I will cave to dust

Sleep is underrated to the, truly, tired!

The promise of heaven on a pillow where nothing comes in but surrender.

These are the nights that test the soul.

And I stand waking with the promise of dreams while the world slumbers.

Life is messy

Sleep is treasure and my pillow is screaming lullabies that should be quiet

In the place of the mind where the quiet goes to die, I wait

Until tomorrow when the siren blazes another day has come.

Until then, don’t speak or I may blow away.

When steal hearts rust, the breeze is threatening.

Goodnight world. I’ll see you on the other side.

Thunder

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I was a human once.

I lived, I breathed, I knew who I was.

It was somewhere between where husband number one left me a puddle on the floor and husband number two decided I wasn’t enough.

Maybe I’m not.

Maybe they’re not.

I’m not qualified to say.

Tonight, I’m thinking I am beyond expectations and they are the fault.

Regardless, I’m here with the pieces.

Pieces are a funny thing. They fall in random intervals. They collide with ideals. They stick themselves in places you didn’t see coming.

But you hang on, groping for tomorrow because maybe it will be better and maybe peace can be found.

Maybe, instead of the ideal that someone will rescue me, I can find solace in me and my faith and the promise of tomorrow. I am tired.

I’m tired of picking up pieces and expecting gold.

Still, I am an optimist. I believe in tomorrow.

But today is real and I need to feel it to gather the gold.

So I struggle and rest in the same breath.

I am me and for tonight, that is enough. Tomorrow may be another story.

Shine when the darkness covers.

Shine when you can’t find light.

Today is a day gone…tomorrow is eternity, so live!!!!

Random thoughts from the lost and tired.

Be you!

Bring the thunder and the light will follow…at least that’s the hope.

Sing for the Light

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

Call me into the deep where you are waiting

I’ve missed the feel of you

My head can hear you and my sensibilities know you but my emotions have fallen out the window.

Who have I become that my emotion is absent?

I was passion now I’m passive and that isn’t enough.

I don’t want to live in a world without feeling

It doesn’t satisfy

Reason is enough in a world of black and white but let’s be real we live in prisms

It isn’t enough for me.

I need the sunshine and the breaking of light over dim

I need to feel it

It’s who I am

And I’m not alone

We need to feel

Emotion carries us through the mundane

A world without feeling is nothing but muted strength struggling to hang on

I want to feel the daybreak

And cry when the light strikes the perfect pose

I’m not alone

I can feel it

So sing with me seekers and cry out for the dawn

It’s coming

Hang on tight

A Note to my Future Self on Thankfulness

/ Jaimie / 8 Comments

Morning view from my back porch

Morning view from my back porch

This morning I wasn’t myself. Don’t ask me who I was…just someone different.

All the things on my mind were hazy under the fog still attached to me from lack of sleep. Ambitions for coming endeavors sat numb on my tongue. Words came out but didn’t really connect with my brain. I told the Lord I really had nothing to say. No inspiration was moving my spirit to action.

In that soft and loving way He sometimes speaks, I heard him say, “How about saying thank you?” Then baby man smiled at me and I remembered stopping to watch the way the light slowly illuminated the backyard with the dawn as I walked by the window. I remembered the rise and blend of colors in the sunrise as it peeked over the trees. I thanked Him. I am so blessed!

Days come when I struggle to muster up words, divine things to move big mountains, revelations to bend will into submission to spirit. I try to inspire and encourage others and myself with grandeur, love and perspective. Maybe everything would fall into place if I woke up tomorrow and remembered to thank Him.

I write this now when things are good to remind myself on days when life seems ‘not so good’.  His faithfulness is never dictated by my circumstances. Future self, remember to give thanks in everything!

 

Isaiah 60:1

/ Jaimie / 5 Comments

 

We are awake before the dawn.

The sun follows in step, divine hands pulling the earth to its place among the stars. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

A smile greets me.

Divine love evidenced in baby breath in the still of the morning. 

Outside my window, the water is glass.

Calm serenity proven in the peace I see…I feel. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

My spirit feels refreshed and renewed.

My focus, eternal, in the morning, committed in the day ahead. 

Ready to soar. 

Let the glory of the Lord be risen upon me. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

Isaiah 60:1

Sunlight and Stark

Light

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

Sunlight and Stark

Light, flooding in like waves of brightness

exposing, revealing all my doubts, all my fears

The ones I never realize I have until I’m paralyzed

Then I’m caught in the aftermath, thankful for the wreckage, wondering when I looked away in the first place.

So I wait silently as the light travels,

Moves through me

All my darkness forced to flee as bone and marrow split in light of truth

You alone are my refuge, my strength, my song and I will sing loudly

All at once, in the still of the morning, I find my focus again.

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5 NKJV

“By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you” Ephesians 1:18 AMP

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22 NKJV

I’m Hungry

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I’m drinking in the morning. Splendid sights before me captivate the senses and awaken the mind. The sunrise out my window tosses red, orange and pink beams into the horizon, borrowing just a fraction of the majesty the omnipotent one holds. Such sights make me hungry to see more of Him every day.

If I could pull back a small corner of the veil of eternity and peek in, would I even be able to stand tomorrow? My legs would surely be the first things to go as my wobbly feet try to process what it would mean to take a step closer.

Who is like Him? The earth is His footstool. The heavens declare His wonder and still He thinks of me.

I know I cannot pull back the heavens for a closer look so, for now, I’ll put away my pen and dive deeply into the ocean of wonder contained in His word. I’ll always be hungry for more.

Good Morning

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

The sun is higher in the sky now. The grass is glistening like a crystal blanket covered by the dew brought to sustain it. The birds sing their cheerful melodies. In harmony with one another, they dance across the sky to their own serenade.

The squirrels are always busy. They find their joy in the simplicity of the scurry. They race back and forth awaiting the prize of a morsel nestled somewhere in the dirt like a long sought after treasure…the scurrying pirates of the yard. ARRGH!

The trees barely move at the gentle prodding of the wind.

The wind is apparently exhausted after the storms of the past few days and is taking the morning off. It has carried away with it all of the clouds, leaving the sky a pale shade of vibrant blue with no obstructions left to block its exhibition.

The morning is alive all around me as I sit at my window with my coffee.  All I can do is smile.