poetry

Perspective from a kid on a log to a woman on a tree

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I once sat among the trees staring life into the branches

Singing harmonies with the heavens

Holding court with the trunks

I once sat in the heavens though my feet touched earth

And I counted the ways the fireflies lit the night

I found respite in the angles of the starlight

Then I broke

But today I’m not broken and my feet can feel the branches and the things that once splintered seem to bring hope

That’s the way it is when God reaches down to the hearts of men.

So dance and sing winds and I will play along and breathe melody into creation all around.

Because I am not who I was; I’m who I’m meant to be and undoubtedly that’s enough for me

I walk through tomorrow

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

If I could hold the thread of yesterday and pull

What would I be in the coming light?

Jesus, be the name ever on my lips.

If I could serenade the heavens and feel the clock of time awaiting…

Would I sing louder!

Would I wait until the moments of glory passed?

Because it’s the mundane that makes a human

It’s the everyday devotion

It’s the life unspoken

It’s who we are at the core. let me be, at the core, someone who reveals your glory.

Jesus, be the name ever on my lips.

Thinking for no reason …

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I’m up past my bedtime and I’m thinking of so many random things. How I used to sing loud and now I hold back. How my years of church drew me to study the Bible more closely and the treasure I’ve found for myself! Life can beat you down yet deep calls unto deep. So I’m here tonight calling to the deep, reliving who I was and praising God for who I am. The overwhelming theme is that He has been so faithful to me!!! Words can’t contain his faithfulness. Volumes could be written then unwritten , constructed and reconstructed, and they couldn’t contain his faithfulness. I keep hearing (from various sources) that we should do the last thing God called us to do before moving forward. The last thing I know he told me to do was write and I’ve been stuck. Not because he hasn’t been great, but because I’ve been hesitant to say it all. I don’t know why. I guess it’s partly that I wonder if anyone would resonate with my story and partly the shame of the details (though I have nothing to hide). Still, if deep has a name, I want to meet him. I want to fall headlong into the space between myself and who he is! He is worthy! If only you could know what I’ve seen and experienced. So I will try to tell my story. I will throw it into the void. Be patient with me. I will sing loud again. I will find myself amid the noise. 

Side note, “Amid” was the title of one of my first tracks. The circle continues I suppose. 🤣 I guess that’s part of the beauty. Stay tuned…

Just thinking…

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

God of the infinite ages, you see me

You find me here

You have always been

You will always be

Yet, you see me.

The depths sing your praises

The harmonies of creation cry out

And somewhere in the symphony of heaven, you hear me chime in.

A squeak

A song

A note

An utterance through the noise of it all

I’m a speck of dust in the wind

Yet I perk your ears to listen and you still call me a friend.

These are the things that write the words unfathomable.

Moments of time when dust calls to infinite and I am undone.

If I were a song,

I would call to the heavens and search for your voice

If I were me in the moments I don’t know who I am, I would search for your words because you speak them over me daily.

Who am I that the highest king would see me?

I am the dust bowl embodied, yet you reach for me

And I bow down and revel in your faithfulness because if anyone knew who you are, and what I’ve been through, and who you are to me now, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend…

So I rest my head tonight

Because I know

And that’s enough!

If I could go back

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I don’t know that I would

I don’t know that my yesterday would yield a return.

I might be happy to be the me that I am.

I might wish for the dreams I once cherished.

I might want to be someone else but I don’t think so.

I am me.

The living.

The breathing

The survivor

The conqueror

The warrior

The singer

The writer

I am the culmination of the me I was born to be

And I don’t know who I’ll be tomorrow but that doesn’t stop me from being grateful for today.

Because today is beautiful

On Bible Reading, Gratefulness, and Satisfaction 

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I used to peck and claw at strings and straw hoping to find sustenance

All the while knowing that truth lay in a book on a table in my living room

Every time I open it, I am filled another day 

That is the nature of satisfaction 

It may take effort but is only found when we reach for the right source

Thankfully, that source reaches for us too

That, in itself, is enough reason to keep going and to be grateful 

I am profoundly grateful!

Sometimes I wonder

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

Who am I’m in the battle for my life?

When the dust clears?

When tomorrow fades into today?

When everything relies on moments I may not be present enough to face?

Can I continue in the fallout?

Am I enough to face the repercussions?

Is today the last of the real me?

Or can I rise?

I don’t know.

But I pray for redemption and I hope for tomorrow and I show up.

That’s worth something right?!?

I walk into the moment out of necessity and feel what I can to survive.

Is that dark or brave?

I don’t know anymore.

When I was a human…

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I thought, at one time, I was indifferent to the gaping noise that came from silence.

That’s not me anymore.

When I was a human, I thought touch somehow made me worthy.

That’s not me anymore.

When I was a human, I remembered things that seemingly kept me alive.

Stolen breath, kisses soft, Interactions.

I’m not a human anymore.

Humanity can exist in the silence and I’m learning.

Humanity can be the absence of humanity…

The me, alone with me.

And it’s in fact the scariest please I’ve ever been.

Hold your breathe.

Vacuum

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

If I lived in a vacuum and all that mattered was this moment, what would I want the present to look like?

I could talk of the dreams I have for the present and the future

I could list the wants and dreams for tomorrow but it wouldn’t be today

It probably wouldn’t be tomorrow

Because my life is on hold for now

And nothing can change that.

So I sit in the silence while the world is singing.

I hope and pray for better days.

And I know they will come because I have faith…

But it doesn’t undo the hard things.

And maybe that’s okay.

Maybe the silence brings the noise I need to find the truth.

I’m just spitballing in a world lost.

But maybe that’s enough.

I’ll keep you posted.