You are me when the light dims.
You are me when the light shines bright
We are one. We are whole!
Who knew?!?
If tomorrow were another moment in the realm of eternity, would we notice the light?
How bright can we shine NOW?!?
If we aren’t light, who are we?
Reach for light!
I was a human once.
I lived, I breathed, I knew who I was.
It was somewhere between where husband number one left me a puddle on the floor and husband number two decided I wasn’t enough.
Maybe I’m not.
Maybe they’re not.
I’m not qualified to say.
Tonight, I’m thinking I am beyond expectations and they are the fault.
Regardless, I’m here with the pieces.
Pieces are a funny thing. They fall in random intervals. They collide with ideals. They stick themselves in places you didn’t see coming.
But you hang on, groping for tomorrow because maybe it will be better and maybe peace can be found.
Maybe, instead of the ideal that someone will rescue me, I can find solace in me and my faith and the promise of tomorrow. I am tired.
I’m tired of picking up pieces and expecting gold.
Still, I am an optimist. I believe in tomorrow.
But today is real and I need to feel it to gather the gold.
So I struggle and rest in the same breath.
I am me and for tonight, that is enough. Tomorrow may be another story.
Shine when the darkness covers.
Shine when you can’t find light.
Today is a day gone…tomorrow is eternity, so live!!!!
Random thoughts from the lost and tired.
Be you!
Bring the thunder and the light will follow…at least that’s the hope.
Call me into the deep where you are waiting
I’ve missed the feel of you
My head can hear you and my sensibilities know you but my emotions have fallen out the window.
Who have I become that my emotion is absent?
I was passion now I’m passive and that isn’t enough.
I don’t want to live in a world without feeling
It doesn’t satisfy
Reason is enough in a world of black and white but let’s be real we live in prisms
It isn’t enough for me.
I need the sunshine and the breaking of light over dim
I need to feel it
It’s who I am
And I’m not alone
We need to feel
Emotion carries us through the mundane
A world without feeling is nothing but muted strength struggling to hang on
I want to feel the daybreak
And cry when the light strikes the perfect pose
I’m not alone
I can feel it
So sing with me seekers and cry out for the dawn
It’s coming
Hang on tight
Today was a blip in eternity
A small stardust glimpse of reality lived
Or maybe not lived to the fullest
Or enough of a moment to leave a mark
Who knows
Today is a moment coming
What will it bring?
Who will I be in the midst of the noise?
Who am I in the infinite?
I cannot skip tomorrow
I don’t want to
I am here or not
I’m in bed sick or out there being me
I am a blip in eternity
I am me
Will I leave a mark?
That remains to be seen.
But for now, I am here. Do you see me?
When did the world stop making noise?
It screams from the rooftops but I don’t think I can hear it anymore
The sound of my head has blocked the overwhelming.
Survival
I am me. I am struggling. I am alive. I will live another day.
There is life when the grass dies.
There is truth, among the pain.
Lean in.
Learn.
Tomorrow is the greatest gift we have.
Don’t waste it.
What is a mind not wavering?
What is strength?
What is faith?
Can I walk in it?
Who holds the key?
Is the door really locked?
Am I on the outside looking in?
Are you inside waiting?
Are you cheering me on?
Are my hands strong?
Will I use them wisely?
Why am I asking so many questions?
The answers are there for the taking.
Why don’t I always remember them?
Is this a test I will have to pass again and again?
Will my memory serve me when it’s hard?
Will I forget to listen?
How could I ever forget the sound of your voice?
Who am I that you are mindful of me?
If I have to take another lap around the mountain, will you walk with me?
Are you singing?
Can I sing along?
Am I giving you glory?
Am I fully convinced?
If faith comes in giving you glory, can I fill up or overflow?
Is that even relevant?
Should I stop talking now?
I should.
“But he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:20b-21
If the world were made of tears, I’m sure I would have cried enough to hold us all.
If the tears I cried became substance, then no one would ever fall.
If light were there by chance, we’d all be doomed.
If light is life and God is light, then baby it’s high noon!
Never underestimate the value of a God who sees and the wealth that comes through struggle and a life well lived.
His hands can hold a universe, they can certainly hold me…and you.
Maybe we can reflect some of it…
The wind spins circles around my head
I see the life before me and I wonder if I’m supposed to be who I am
What is life but the continuing of one foot before another?
Every breath, a choice
Every moment, an opportunity for a voice
Yet, I am so often silent.
This is humanity…
A million moments of the mundane, followed by a hundred moments of impact.
But the mundane…the cleaning, the dishes, the listening to my kids talk about their day…the laundry…
In these moments, I become me. The woman I’m called to be.
So I’ll write and create and care for children, and sing, and process invoices, and update databases and go on..one foot in front of the other.
And in that, I will be more than I ever imagined.
Somehow, in the grind, God created destiny and legacy and that is enough for me.
Hello, tomorrow. I’m ready to do my best. We will see what God has in store. It may be great. It may be monotonous, but if it’s for Your glory, it’s entirely worth it.
One foot in front of the other…this is life.
Dream a little dream for me
As tomorrow nears
And the night closes its eyes
Or maybe it keeps them open waiting for morning
Or maybe tomorrow is a continuance of today
Or maybe we can sweep it away in solitude for brighter things to come
Whatever the case….
Goodnight today
Welcome hope
New mercies
New grace
Newness
Renewal
Light
Life
Another day means we made it
Another day means another chance
Failure doesn’t exist here
In the space of tomorrow
Keep going
Keep fighting
Try another day
And someday you’ll find the reward.
Just never surrender.
I remember six.
What it was to go down to my grandfather’s basement and sing at the top of my lungs while he played guitar.
I remember chords and burning and the life and longing that only comes with a great song.
I remember faces beaming and proud looks screaming “legacy”. I remember the look in his eye…the song in his fingers….the bliss of a guitar fully freed.
I remember.
Tonight my five year old wrote a song. I haven’t taught him the language of music yet. I haven’t showed him. Yet he brings me this.
I’m transported back in time to notes played freely and voices ringing loudly…to no inhibitions. Just me and my voice and the voice of one who believed in me.
And I wonder…can legacy exist when no one is looking?
But I am looking. I remember. So tonight I stare at the random notes written on unseen bar.
I flail at the night and remember who I am. And in that, I find my children and see the light.
It travels freely through the darkness, unhindered.
Because legacy is greater than us. It sweeps through the fragments of the soul and finds a home in the unhindered.
So tonight I write, I dream, I awake in the morning in memory and hope. Because the future is brighter and God is working.
I am a puzzle piece groping for truth. I hold life and I, only, know how to let it out with word and song so I keep going.
Light and life are worth the effort.
INSPIRED BY THE COMFORTER 