I realized something about myself this morning. As much as I hate to admit it. I can be a bit short-sighted. My husband and I have had big plans for our property since we purchased it and remodeled it a few years back. He is a dreamer in every sense of the word, but he’s so much more than that. He is a mover and a shaker. He tends to have several projects in the works at a time. Me, I can get stuck. He thinks big picture, long term, how amazing it will be when it’s complete. I think “right now” and get caught up on the demo.
The first step in a remodeling project is planning and dreaming. Then you move on to demo. When we started remodeling our home, I would stop by to look at the progress and inevitably more had been taken out, more walls were gone. I remember walking in the kitchen one day and seeing nothing but daylight streaming in from the open concrete wall where my sink should have been. I understood the interior demo, but looking at my backyard through the wall was enough to make me panic.
It’s a dumb thing actually. I completely trust my contractor husband, especially in matters of construction, yet there I was panicking over a hole in a wall. I know nothing about construction, other than what I picked up during our project, and what I’ve heard from his mouth while managing the office of his company since he came into my life. Yet, here I was standing in an empty, soon to be kitchen, panicking at the chaos, instead of dreaming of what it would one day become.
I did it again this morning watching a worker rip out some old brush and clean up the back yard. He really made a clean canvas for us to create something beautiful, but I sat there thinking “he’s tearing up my yard”. It’s a character flaw I suppose. But what matters most is that God does the same thing in my own heart sometimes.
This last year especially has been like that. I’ve been in a demo phase and that should excite me.
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
I should be grateful and happy knowing that when God begins a good work, he is faithful to complete it. (Phil 1:6) and the end result will be better than I can even begin to dream. But I get lost in the moment. I get stuck in the chaos from time to time.
Here’s the thing though, I will gladly take every moment of chaos, every tear, every trial, if it makes me more like Christ. I will gladly walk through the craziest internal construction project if it’s necessary to make me into a woman through which His glory is revealed.
Nothing we go through is wasted. 2 Corinthians 1:6 says, “Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.”
There is always a reason even in suffering. I’m not saying God is smiting us with afflictions. What I am saying is that in suffering and affliction, He is there with us, not only comforting us, but also strengthening us. If we’re going through something, He will cause us to grow through it. It is grace and His unfailing love that always advocates for us and calls us to dig deeper. If it takes a bit of demo to make something beautiful out of me, I’m in!
I don’t know what you may be going through right now. But if you find yourself like me, panicking at the demo phase, I encourage you to trust the contractor. God knows what He’s doing and He’s got you! Try not to fear the process, but rather try to envision the finished product.