Month: January 2023

If you really knew me…

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

If you really knew me, would you hang me out to dry with the stars?

Would you wonder if I’m someone worth your time?

Would you debate with the clock and the ashes of lives lived and gone?

Would you pull me close and tell me of tomorrows?

Would you fold the flames of a life well lived around me or call for backup?

If you really knew me, would you say hello when you saw me or hide?

If you really knew me would you wonder at the greatness I hold or run in the opposite direction?

Will you read my words on a page and wonder if I’m human?

Or will you find that we are the same

Fumbling for light when the darkness presses in and …

Reaching, so hard, when the light calls?

Do you see me? Can you hear me?

These are questions for the abyss yet I ask them.

These moments define destiny.

Iif you really knew me, you would know.

But in the space of time and light and all the things that make us….us, I’m a voice screaming into the air.

But if you really knew me, that might matter.

In the meantime, I’m okay with the background chatter.

Human

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I used to be human, once when it was trendy.

But what good are trends anyway?!?

I’m me in the trenches.

I’m me when the world crashes around me.

I’m me in the flesh and the bone…in the spirit and song…

In the trenches.

Just little ol’ me

I grope for air when I need to breathe

I hang on to euphemisms when I need hope.

I grope for light when I feel dark.

I wait for the dishes to be done

For the world to feel uncluttered even when I know I’m responsible for the outcome.

I wait for the light to appear.

But I am loved!

Not by you certainly. Maybe not even by the people I hold close to my chest like life preservers.

But I’m loved.

And maybe that’s enough.

Because I’ll get up tomorrow and go again.

And things will get done little by little and I will grow or whatever…

Tonight, I’m me, in the light of a thousand moons,and the presence of a God who loves me anyway and that’s more than enough for me!

Enough

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I admit, some nights I feel like I’m not enough.

I work my tail off all day and come to the end and realize I couldn’t do it all!

My “to do list” will extend to tomorrow and may even exceed my “today list”.

I tried.

I succeeded

I failed

I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m done!

One small step at a time can feel like a mountain of failure for an overachiever like me.

I climbed Everest today and completely decluttered my closet and rescued my bedroom from chaos. And it should feel good.

But for the over achieving me, it feels like failure.

And that’s not okay.

I shouldn’t revel in each mountaintop.

I should glory in the small steps.

But I feel the weight of a thousand, looming, “to-dos”.

Why can’t I accept the beauty of a little each day?

I don’t know.

But I know, “for such a time as this”.

I heard it when the world stopped for me and my pastor preached it and said it to my face!

I heard it in my spirit when I wanted to stop.

“For such a time as this…“

Keep on!

Don’t give up!

I can’t explain it but I know you and I were made for this! Whatever “this” may be for you.

Don’t blink when the light starts shining!

Don’t run when it all tries to chase you down.

One step in front of the other.

One breath

One scripture

One moment.

Breathe!

Enough is being who you are!

Never, ever forget!

Don’t forget who you are and that you were made “for such a time as this”

Tomorrow might be better or worse or in between but you can handle it all!

I can handle it all!

What other choice is there?

Breathe!

Shampoo, rinse, repeat…

Do it all again and remember that we aren’t the sum of our accomplishments, we are defined by our next steps.

And maybe they won’t be great and we can be defined by the ones after that.

Make tomorrow count. And be okay with today

Because “enough” isn’t what we want it to be; it’s whether we pick up and move on tomorrow.

Just breathe. It’s okay!

The wind

/ Jaimie / Leave a comment

I may walk upon the wind when the clouds stop giving surface to my dreams.

I may fight the fire…with tears or dewdrops from the heavens that left me long ago.

I may speak with tongues of angels or kaleidoscopes of heavenly foot prints.

But my roar will shake the heavens.

My cries will summon angels.

You will know me in the dust.

The wind will know my name.

Because I am a warrior!

I am me.

And a warrior waits behind me, roaring in the distance, that I am exactly what He called me to be!

Get ready for the rumble.

I’m not breaking!

I’m standing!

That is enough!!!!