Crash Course

September 16, 2013September 16, 2013 / Jaimie / 4 Comments

I was in a car accident about fifteen years ago. It happened on a Sunday afternoon on my way home from church. I was pulling in my driveway when she hit me. I never saw it coming. Apparently, she didn’t notice me slowing down to turn until the last second. When she did see me, she swerved INTO the driveway instead of away from it and consequently, nailed the side of my car right there in my driveway traveling around 45 miles per hour.

Everyone was okay, despite some cuts, bruises and a little whiplash. It was definitely one of the scariest parenting moments I can remember. My daughter was in her car-seat in the middle of the back. I remember it taking me a moment to realize what had happened and then hearing her screaming. My best friends little sister was with me also and the impact was very close to where she was sitting. She was 8. She looked completely dazed and blood was pouring from her face and mouth. It was in that moment, when it all hit me, that the panic set in. Suddenly, nothing else mattered but the kids. I didn’t even notice my injuries until later after I was sure everyone was okay. My car was totaled.

This morning I was thinking about how life can feel like a colossal mess sometimes. You’re traveling along enjoying the ride, when out of nowhere, it hits. You didn’t even see it coming, and you’re stunned by the impact. You spend some time trying to process it all. Maybe you feel your pain first, maybe you notice the others around you. Maybe you realize what you’ve lost right away or maybe it all comes in pieces, little by little, you take it all in and you break down a little more over time.

Often, we wonder why it happened. There’s usually no readily available explanation. Sometimes the hurt is so extreme that we turn heavenward demanding answers. Sometimes, the heavens are silent.

Some react with rage, others sorrow. Some weep while others remain locked in uncomfortable numb. We all have our ways of dealing with the aftermath.

I don’t have answers to the question why. I try to figure it out sometimes like we all do, but in the end only God knows the plan and we are called simply to trust him. But maybe sometimes he’s hoping when life hits hard, we will turn outward first. Maybe the trials of life are intended to train us to think of others and not just us.

Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

It’s not always our natural reaction to think of others in the midst of our greatest pain and loss. But our greatest comfort often comes when we do just that. Whatever your reaction is, it’s most important that you get up and keep going. Don’t let anything stop you from fulfilling your destiny. You were created for greatness. Don’t let anything stop you from believing that.

I don’t know what you’re going through. Maybe life is crashing around you as I write this. Maybe your cruising along loving the journey. My greatest desire is that you would know that you are in His hands, He has a plan and that someone out there needs you to get up and keep on going. You are not alone. Look around. Look up. Keep moving forward! It’s going to be okay as long as we keep our eyes on Him.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

“He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

The View from Above

September 11, 2013September 11, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

What’s the view like from up there? I often marvel at the way you can love us with such depth despite the messes we’ve made. The problem of pain exists only because we seek to blame you for the bad without crediting you for the good. You see us reeling from the consequences of sin. Destruction, pain, sickness, tragedy abounds casting shadow on the weary hearts you seek to save. You call to us with the answer, with comfort, with peace beyond description and we accuse. “How can a God of love allow such tragedy?”

“For I consider the sufferings of this present time not worthy to be compared with the coming glory to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18)

crushed

We look at things so narrowly. All we see are the steep rocks around us and we fear we cannot make it through. We forget that you always clear a path. You never ask us to cross without making a way before us. Yet so often we turn back thinking it’s too hard so you must not be in it. There must be a wider opening that will lead us to the same destination. Still, you’re faithful to scoop us back up and lead us back where we belong. We must look so silly to you sometimes. Yet you love us immensely. You make a safe place for us in the cleft of the rock. You allow us to rest in your presence.

I can’t help but remember today how evil men caused our hearts so much sorrow. The problem with pain is that bad things still happen to good people. “For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45 NKJV)

I don’t claim to have all the answers but I know this, God is still good even when we aren’t. God is still there even when we can’t see him. God still loves even when hate seems to win. Just as the towers falling couldn’t break the spirit of a people, circumstances cannot change the immutable goodness of God. As we remember this day, let us not forget the one who holds us and looks upon us with abundant love, abounding mercy and infinite greatness. He sees us lovely.

What’s the view like from up there? Do you see us looking up? Lend us your smile and wrap us up in your peace today.

Busy

September 5, 2013 / Jaimie / 3 Comments

I have no time to write today

The busy fairies have carried me away

I’ll see you on the other side

If the busy fairies bring me back alive

Labor Day

September 2, 2013 / Jaimie / 2 Comments

Once a year, we get to cease from our “manic Monday” lives, and be celebrated for the impact our working has had on our society. We mark the end of the summer with this hiatus. We light our grills, don our shopping garb and hit the sales, relax with friends and family. We get to rest. But do we really?

What about our souls? Deep within where no one can see, do you feel yourself striving? Are you striving to be more, to do more, to be a better person, to be more diligent…to be seen? We hide these inner longings with stuff. The busy trappings of a life fully lived. Work, school, kids, chores, laundry, diapers, christian service, community service, hospitality, good works. I’m not denying the value of any of these things. They are all good and should be done. But do they drive us? When our tired heads crash into the fluff of our pillows at night, do they consume us still? Are we able to rest or are we thinking about all of our stuff? Do we feel full with overflow…ready to pour out again tomorrow not of necessity, but rather abundance? Why are we striving at all?

We all know labor. The toil and motion of our days. The drive to accomplish more or be a little better. So we reach and stretch like ace bandage around the wounds of our lives, hiding the inner longing from the masses. Gaining momentum so we can do more tomorrow. We know the ache of muscles overused. The dull of a mind overspent. The fog of lack of slumber and heavy heart. We may not labor everyday. We may even enjoy it. We, hopefully, take time out to laugh and enjoy the moments of greatness. We rest a bit now and then, but is rest a lifestyle?

I contend that every day should be labor day. Jesus said this in the book of Matthew: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

The answer to our striving is always found in our following. Jesus didn’t ask us to be better. Jesus took our ‘bad’ upon himself, bore our sorrows and took our shame. Jesus provided freedom for our souls. Freedom from the burden of striving. When we come to him, we are free to be. In him we find rest. He joins us in the yoke of life, strapped in together with us and carries the burden for us. We simply walk with him.

There will always be hustle and bustle circling overhead. There will always be things to do and commotion to tame. But there will always be Jesus soothing our souls with the balm of his peace. He washes our hearts with his spirit, quiets us with his love and calls us righteous. None of this is based on what we can do or have done. Though our righteousness was as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), he clothes us with his righteousness (Romans 3).

Today, I encourage you to rest in him. Enjoy this labor day, knowing that you were created for his good pleasure, that he delights in you and that you are loved more than you can ever imagine. Happy Labor Day!

What it means to dive deeper into God’s word

August 30, 2013 / Jaimie / 3 Comments

Blinded

Sight on loan from the maker of reality and I glimpse only a fraction of the picture

The parade of time marching before me and I am subject to the constraints of the sidelines

Thirsty

Deep calls to deep, leaving me wanting more

Spirit river laps gently

Calls me in, downward to the deep well

Subaqueous beauty pouring forth from printed page

the spoken word of the infinite Godhead

I’m allowed to fall into the spring

until I become fully submerged

I am pulled under until I’m drinking the cool liquid deep

into my lungs and I drown in the glory

Under the surface of earth I find life

Streams making glad the river of God

I am undone

Fully consumed in His presence where I can rest tonight

My Own Private Jungle

August 26, 2013 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. School’s back in session. The big kids started last Monday while the littlest guy comes to work everyday with me. I’ve been back at work for several weeks now since having the baby. Honestly, I didn’t really take a maternity leave at all. I stayed away from the office for about a week and a half, all the while answering calls and questions from home, then packed baby man up and headed in. I’m so thankful that having the baby with me at work is an option. I realize that I am blessed abundantly!

Still, I’d cut back on my hours of actual office time. I’ve been working from home a little more and also reminding myself that the world will not end if I don’t accomplish everything in one day. For some reason when school started on Monday, it felt like my (imagined) maternity leave was over. My hectic schedule is back in full swing. I’m busy with backpacks and lunch boxes and drop off and pick up. Now I’ve got diaper bags and feeding schedules and an infant screaming in car-rider line added to the mix. I know many of you can relate to this.

Let’s face it, life can get a bit chaotic from time to time. Yet, somehow in the midst of this, we are expected to dig deep and pull out the gifts within us and do something great with them. For years, I shelved most of my writing. I didn’t bother sharing many of my original songs because I knew I wouldn’t have time to invest in finishing them and performing them. I allowed the chaos to overtake me.

Thankfully I’ve learned that the only way I can truly live is to dig deep. All those things I shelved for later are the very things that bring me peace today. A life of order and balance includes our passions. If we don’t allow our passions the fuel and air they need, we will suffocate beneath the weight of the mundane.

This week, in the midst of the hectic, I took a few seconds to breathe, to write, to pray, to snap a picture or two in the yard. I am alive and free. Don’t let the jungle swallow your soul. Let your soul be the soil for beauty to flourish.

James

August 26, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

I’m in love with you

the light in your eyes when you look at me

the smile that graces your lips when I am near

the sound of your laughter

the sound of your voice

the faithfulness in your hands

the strength of your spirit

the prayers

the joy

the peace

the persistence

you are a rock that steadies my anxious heart

you are a pillar I lean in to when the ground seems shaky

your skin

your eyes

your mouth

your form

all elixir, I can drink in and enjoy

it’s an honor to be your wife

did I mention that I’m in love with you?

Singularity

August 20, 2013 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

Singular, I stand, speaking to the air

Lost, all things escaping my lungs, gobbled up in earthen noise

Singular and driven as my arms flail like ribbons at the mercy of the wind

Together we accomplish more

As one we cry

One voice lifted above the madness

One army united before the fray

Joined to free the captives

Joined to free ourselves

True singularity

I Want a Psalm 20 Heart

August 20, 2013 / Jaimie / 2 Comments

I can be cynical and critical by nature. I blame the gift of discernment. I once heard someone say that our greatest weaknesses are our greatest strengths overextended. My intuition and wisdom can lead to an attitude fast if I don’t temper it. That aspect of love from 1 Corinthians 13:5-7 where love thinks the best of people and not evil does not come naturally to me. It’s something I have to be diligent about. I’m constantly crucifying my wary self to allow someone a bit more like Christ to come out.

This morning, I may have found the key to this in Psalm 20,

“May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble;
May the name of the God of Jacob defend you;
May He send you help from the sanctuary,
And strengthen you out of Zion;
May He remember all your offerings,
And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose.
We will rejoice in your salvation,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.

Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed;
He will answer him from His holy heaven
With the saving strength of His right hand.

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.
They have bowed down and fallen;
But we have risen and stand upright.

Save, Lord!
May the King answer us when we call.”

I’m determined today to have a Psalm 20 heart toward every one I meet. I will cast my cynicism aside and choose to think the best about others. I will pray that they be strengthened and encouraged and that their prayers would be answered. I’m thinking if it will be a lot easier to truly love others when I’m busy thinking good things and praying blessings upon them. Let’s all find practical ways to honor those around us today.

Random Beauty – Grace

August 17, 2013 / Jaimie / 11 Comments

We’ve had a lot of rain over the past month here in Southwest Florida. The ground is saturated and consequently when more rain comes, we flood. The odd thing is that most of our street is high and dry, but our yard is a swamp. It’s inconvenient in a lot of ways. We can’t mow certain areas so the wild is overtaking the manicured. Bugs are invading the house more than normal.

If you’ve never visited South Florida, I can tell you that it is an education in strange bugs and arachnids. We have some mega spiders and odd-looking creepy crawlers. Most of these don’t bother us a bit, but I have to admit that spiders the size of my hand appearing in the bedroom (as a general rule) do not inspire happy thoughts in me.

I warn my son daily to be on the lookout for snakes and gators when he’s playing in the yard. Living by a canal, we usually look out for these anyway, but with the extra water, comes extra cottonmouths and you never know when and where a snake will pop up as we learned earlier this year (The Snake in the House).

Despite all of this, I’ve been intrigued by the water. It’s random beauty standing out from the otherwise consistent. The fact that it’s just our yard strikes me as well. It’s like God sending a little beauty just for us, washing us with the water, changing the landscape. Sure, problems sometimes come with the beauty. God never promised us a life of roses and relaxation. The greatest character is built through the storms and the chaos. In the midst of these, we learn to trust him and find the wonder. In that, he is glorified and we are changed a little more into his image.

I pray I always find the wonder in the midst of the flood, that I find the beauty in the chaos, that I look for the ways he’s romancing me and reminding me of his love. Nothing he does is haphazard. He paints the skies with us in mind. He plants flowers to amaze us. He smiles at us in the midst of the brokenness, wraps us up in his love and inspires us to be completely his. There is truly nothing better than that.