A Note to my Future Self on Thankfulness

Morning view from my back porch

Morning view from my back porch

This morning I wasn’t myself. Don’t ask me who I was…just someone different.

All the things on my mind were hazy under the fog still attached to me from lack of sleep. Ambitions for coming endeavors sat numb on my tongue. Words came out but didn’t really connect with my brain. I told the Lord I really had nothing to say. No inspiration was moving my spirit to action.

In that soft and loving way He sometimes speaks, I heard him say, “How about saying thank you?” Then baby man smiled at me and I remembered stopping to watch the way the light slowly illuminated the backyard with the dawn as I walked by the window. I remembered the rise and blend of colors in the sunrise as it peeked over the trees. I thanked Him. I am so blessed!

Days come when I struggle to muster up words, divine things to move big mountains, revelations to bend will into submission to spirit. I try to inspire and encourage others and myself with grandeur, love and perspective. Maybe everything would fall into place if I woke up tomorrow and remembered to thank Him.

I write this now when things are good to remind myself on days when life seems ‘not so good’.  His faithfulness is never dictated by my circumstances. Future self, remember to give thanks in everything!

 

On Imaginary Leadership

Shadow People

I think I would love to lead a group of imaginary people.

I could preach for hours and imagine their response as they are moved by my words.

I could lead them in worship and see them cry out to the Lord in praise.

I could watch them as they are moved to tears when I hit that ‘big’ note.

I could show them love and compassion.

I could give them imaginary money when they are in need.

I could take them shopping and spoil them a little from time to time.

I could have them over and cook them a splendid imaginary dinner.

See them respond in amazement at my awesome cooking skills. Move over Rachael Ray!

They’d always heed my advise.

I’d always be nice.

They’d always be on time.

My kids would never whine.

They’d laugh at all my jokes.

Nothing would ever begin to feel rote.

As excitement fills the air, I’ll let each one of them share.

Ah, imaginary people would be fun, but I’d never get anything of substance done.

Spiritual Common Sense

Is it my imagination or does the general populace seem a little less educated these days? I understand the need for ridiculous warning labels in our litigious society, like the one I once saw on a stroller that said “Do not close stroller with child inside” or the “Caution, Hot!” warnings on coffee cups. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Legal Studies. I’ve read the case-law and I get the need despite how dumb it may seem to most. Still, there are some things I find hard to understand. For example, this sign is posted in the waiting room at my pediatrician’s office.

Signs

The fact that this has happened frequently enough to warrant signage is baffling!  Really?! I would think a little bit of common sense would kick in here, but we live in a world fallen. Sensibility has been lost to either convenience or blindness. People, without thinking, follow whatever desire or instruction that seems right to them in the moment. “There’s a way that seems right unto a man…” Proverbs 14:12

Some of this lack of sense can seep into our spiritual lives as well. It’s usually hard to see when it’s you who’s senseless but unfortunately, those around you see it clearly. The saddest example of this, in my opinion, are those people you meet who are overflowing with potential. You see them destined for greatness, yet there is something in their life that they always return to…that habit they just can’t kick or that stronghold and insecurity that holds them captive time and time again. You want to shake them and convince them that their destiny is so much better than the misery they continually choose. You weep for them every time they run back down the same old path. Take another lap around the mountain, Moses. We don’t have this one figured out just yet. 

When they are on, they are on! Joy exudes from them like sunshine warming the summer sky. Their smiles are contagious, their victories triumphant. Then it all starts unraveling and they are gone again. Somehow, they forget that the only joy and peace they’ve ever known was in Him. They think if they dabble a little with this or that, they won’t end up right where they always do. Then they are on the bottom once again asking what went wrong. Common sense lost at the mercy of lust and desire. 

Then there are those who desire all the benefits or God without the willingness to actually follow His precepts. This is particularly annoying to me. They can’t understand why they are broke or sick or why everything goes wrong for them, yet they are self-seeking and fully committed to do things their own way. God usually doesn’t bless the “my way” approach. When we follow Him, it works out so much better. 

Which leads me another category of senselessness, the Pharisees who judge every unpleasant thing to be a result of wrongdoing or sin on the part of the distressed party. Sometimes this is the case but not always. I don’t believe that every sniffle or backache is directly a result of my personal sin. I don’t believe death is always the result of sin. Yes, sometimes it can be. The Bible is full of sowing and reaping. However, anyone who holds strictly to this philosophy has never read the book of Job. Job was a godly man who suffered greatly. His suffering was not a result of his sin though his friends tried to insist it was. Sometimes suffering happens. We should be concentrating on what God wants to do in our lives through our sufferings rather than whining and balking against it. 

And let’s talk about death. Death is a part of life. Yes, it is a result of original sin. “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—” Romans 5:12. We act as if death is the ultimate penalty, as if God is somehow less faithful when death occurs. This is ludicrous! Hebrews 9:27 says that it is appointed for men to die. We don’t even need that scripture to prove this to us. One out of one is going to die. Those are not the best odds. We know this and if we are believers, this shouldn’t be considered a bad thing. Eternity with the most high God sounds pretty good to me. Why do we complain about it? I’m missing something. Our lives here on Earth are but a vapor. We need to start thinking a little more broadly. Focus on what matters, the eternal, not the temporal. Just common sense. 

There is a lot of happy-go-lucky, everything should be rosy and nicey nice all of the time, theology out there. It’s fun to hear. The blessings of God are awesome!!! Spiritual common sense tells us to find a little balance. Instead of blaming God when things go wrong, how about finding a little perspective. First we should examine ourselves and see if we are merely reaping something we’ve sown. 
Whatever the reason, common sense tells us to examine the nature of God – that His plans are to prosper us, to give us a hope and a future (Jer. 28:11). I hope that in everything I can trust Him. 

One last rant and I will stop. Common sense should tell us that we will never reach the lost with the love of Christ by bullying them and being just plain mean. Common sense reads the Bible and sees that God calls us to love others, particularly the lost. Love doesn’t condemn, love doesn’t avoid, love thinks the best of others. I remember someone once telling me I should not associate with sinners because they would drag me down. That is absurd! I shouldn’t compromise my faith EVER, but Jesus diligently sought out the lost.

When Christians can say that they don’t have any ‘unsaved’ friends, I cringe. What are we doing if we are not actively loving others. Loving your neighbor doesn’t mean being nice and putting on a plastic smile when you see a stranger. Loving your neighbor means laying down your life for another, getting your hands a little dirty and finding out how you can serve another person, having people over on a Friday night when you’re tired, spending an hour on the phone with a friend whose husband disappeared again, being willing to be real. We are called to love! 

Furthermore, when Jesus or Paul condemned sin in the Bible, they were talking to the church or the religious people of the day. They condemned sin in the lives of believers! You will not find an instance where Christ condemned a non-believer. He showed them love and mercy. He brought them into relationship with himself. Paul talks in Ephesians 5 about not even associating with believers who were actively involved in sin. He is addressing believers here. Common sense says we don’t condemn sin outside the church while justifying it inside the church. 

Phew, I can breathe now. 🙂 What about you? Are there areas you notice where we could use a little more spiritual common sense? 

Banyan

Banyan

 

There’s a grace that digs deep

Core of strength extends lofty to the sky

Outward, stretched, fallen man reaching for a savior

Redeemed and strong his boughs grow

Boldly lifted to heights he never dreamed

He searches for more

Always reaching

Always hoping

Faith finding him ransomed

Free he soars with the heavens

From the heights he reaches down

Lowering his fingers to the earth beneath

Digging in deeper

Delving anxiously to accomplish his task

Expanding his reach, as he bores into areas still covered by turf

Grace that reaches for more

Grace that reaches for others

Grace that overcomes all

Dig deeply in me until nothing remains untouched

I Wanna’ Be Just Like You

Image

Flyboy turned 7 yesterday! I am always a little nostalgic on birthdays. I can never quite wrap my mind and heart around how fast it all goes. When you are a young mother, everyone tells you to treasure every moment because it goes so fast and you can’t really fathom it. I know I always thought it a strange statement. Did they really think I was trying to squander the time? Now that I’m older, and my oldest just turned 16, and my Angel in Sock Monkey Slippers is 13, and Flyboy is 7, and I’m holding my 7 week old, I get it. It really does go fast.

IMG_0988

We took Flyboy to a mini amusement park to have a day of adventure for his birthday. He’d been once before and I had heard so much about how awesome the Cobra Coaster was. When we got there we discovered the catch. He refused to ride the coaster without dad. Dad looked a little silly in the small car with Flyboy tucked securely in his armpit, eyes closed tight and holding on for dear life. With dad, the Cobra Coaster was awesome. Without dad, the Cobra Coaster was an insurmountable obstacle.

The go-karts were the same. He had to watch dad drive the big ones before he would even dare to enter the rookie track.

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He woke up this morning in anticipation for the epic Nerf gun battle Dad promised for today. He’s been the happiest boy on the planet since Dad taught him how to play Skip-Bo the other night (especially since he won the second game).

The big smiles serve as a reminder to me that what our kids really need is us, our time, our attention, our lives lived purposefully before them. Ephesians 5:15 “Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately”  Our kids are watching us. They are imitating and we should be imitating our father. Ephesians 5:1 “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.”  There is no greater responsibility.

Last night, Bubba Boo (our nickname for our newborn. Dad joked about naming him after his two favorite Florida boy golfers, Bubba Watson and Boo Weekly, and now he’s Bubba Boo Dandridge.) was having a colicky moment. I was walking with him, holding him close and praying for him and my other children.  My prayers so often turn to awe. I’m amazed that God chose me to raise these amazing little ones. I have the privilege of being with them everyday and showing them the love of an infinite creator who is intensely interested in them, in us. I get to assist the Lord in showing them that they have purpose and destiny. They are able to do amazing things to affect change in this world and I get to be a small part of that. That amazes me. I get the honor of knowing them. They are extraordinary people and I count that as such a blessing.

I want more than anything to be more like my Father everyday. I want to decrease as the Lord of all increases in my life. I know that if I press toward that goal, my kids will then imitate me and therefore be more like Him as well.

Lord, help me to be a godly mother. Lead and guide my husband and I as we walk through this life with little ones in tow. May they learn to be Christlike as we imitate you. I wanna’ be just like you!

Isaiah 60:1

 

We are awake before the dawn.

The sun follows in step, divine hands pulling the earth to its place among the stars. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

A smile greets me.

Divine love evidenced in baby breath in the still of the morning. 

Outside my window, the water is glass.

Calm serenity proven in the peace I see…I feel. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

My spirit feels refreshed and renewed.

My focus, eternal, in the morning, committed in the day ahead. 

Ready to soar. 

Let the glory of the Lord be risen upon me. 

Arise, shine, for your light has come!

Isaiah 60:1

Sunlight and Stark

Doing dishes is a waste of time. They just grow back!

CleanI’ve decided that doing dishes is a waste of time. They just grow back! Especially in my house with teenagers and their smaller siblings running rampant. They hide in dark corners and conspire about how to get yet ANOTHER cup when my back is turned. And it doesn’t help that the older ones have learned to cook. I come home from work to find that they’ve become creative gourmets without the aid of a full-time dishwasher. Granted, they are old enough that I can pull the “I’m the mom and YOU can do the dishes” card. But still, the reality exists that there are always dirty dishes around no matter how many times we wash them.

Suds

 

Life is like that. We do the same things over and over. We sleep, we wake, we eat, we read our Bibles, say our prayers, work, talk to friends, drive the same roads, cuddle with our kids, laugh, eat again, pay the bills, empty the pantry, go to the grocery store, come back home, lather, rinse, repeat…and it’s wonderful. Somehow, in the midst of the sameness, there’s always an adventure. There’s joy and comfort. We humans like consistency after all.

Our spiritual lives echo this pattern. We die to ourselves daily (1 Cor. 15:31). We read the same Bible over and over and never even begin to exhaust its bounty. We pray daily and it continues to refresh and revive us. We “repent and do the first works” (Rev. 2:5) um, more than once. The cool thing is that no matter how many times we blow it and dirty things up, there’s always a dishwasher. His grace is sufficient for me! (2 Cor. 12:9)

Dishwasher

 

Okay, maybe doing dishes isn’t such a waste of time after all.

Behind the Broken Glass

Crack in the window

I’m standing in a room alone. It’s dark, foggy, shadowy and gray. Before me, a mirror stands singularly. It’s the centerpiece of the room. It’s as if my presence there is more triviality than importance. Everything revolves around this monument of reflective glass. It haunts me.

Though it has no voice, I can almost hear it calling me into its solitary world. The room begins to spin. I hear jeers and laughter. Whispers from the past combine into dissonant noise that surrounds me, spinning, spiraling with noxious intent. They wrap me up and I find myself face to face with this fragile monster and I allow myself to look deeply.

The image before me is clear at first, just plain ol’ me with my pale, freckled skin, sharp features, ordinary hair, small, uneventful eyes, thin lips. As I stare, the image begins to change before me. From my perspective, it’s as if it’s zooming in and becoming clearer. It feels as though I’m really seeing myself for the first time. Every line, dimple and extra pound expands. I never realized how much weight I’d really accumulated with my last pregnancy. I’d never realized how pallid and sallow looking my skin had become. My long, natural hair used to be beautiful and flowing. I always thought it was lovely. Now it looks stringy, unkempt and dull. I feel as if there should be a law about letting oneself look like this. What have I allowed myself to become?  Corners

From the other side, I see this whole scene unfold. Suddenly, I’m an outside observer watching the event as if it were a movie playing in 3D. I still feel everything but reality is with me and I am aware.

As she stands before the mirror the glass shifts and shakes, contorting slowly, imperceptibly to her. Cracks and jagged, broken edges jut out in various places causing her reflection to look more like something she might see in a fun house mirror than true form.

I’m standing behind the broken glass watching her weary face, hearing her thoughts as she contemplates her new diet and exercise program (which will start TOMORROW). I feel her shame. She wants to hide, to blend in with the crowd just outside this room and pray they don’t see her at all. If she can avoid being seen until she fixes everything wrong with her, maybe she’ll be okay. Maybe the monster will release her from this prison. But some things she can’t change. What then?

From behind the broken glass, I see her. I see who she really is. She is beautiful. I see her dignity, her faith, her strength, the sparkle in her eye, the grace in her smile. She is so much more than the lies the mirror keeps telling her.

WindowI reach through the glass with both hands wide. I call to her. I take her hand and help her through to the other side.

Suddenly, the room is clear. The fog and gray are now light and clarity. I open my eyes, whole. I am home. I can still feel the glass like a distant presence. I know it’s there. I know it will fight to pull me in again but I am no longer afraid. I know now it’s broken. It has no hold on me.

Now I will look for it. When I see it appear, maybe I can have the opportunity to reach through and help another captured soul through to the other side. Behind the broken glass there is a world of freedom.

Keep it Simple

I can be so forgetful! I am stubborn and independent in nature. I have this way of going about life as if it were solely mine to live, as if I can handle everything just fine by myself. The weight and responsibility of the world rest upon my shoulders alone. The earth and all its inhabitants are at the mercy of my strength and abilities. God help us all!

I’m sure you’ve already guessed that this trait can tend to get me into trouble from time to time. If nothing else, it leads to my becoming overwhelmed and having mini meltdowns every now and then. The meltdown episodes serve as reminders that I was not designed to hold the world in orbit or pull the stars into position. Whey my best efforts drive me and everything around me into chaos, I remember to cry out for help.

Psalm 116:1-7 “I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. The pains of death surrounded me, And the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the Lord: ‘O Lord, I implore You, deliver my soul!’ Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; Yes, our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.”

Inevitably, there will be times when I find trouble and sorrow. Sometimes it’s my own fault for trying to do everything my way. Sometimes it’s just life doing what it does…throwing a curve ball or two my way or blasting me out of the current all alone and seeing what I do next. (See the following video to understand the last reference)

I hope and pray that when trouble surrounds I remember to look up. When I call upon the Lord, He hears me. He is gracious and merciful despite my simplicity of mind. When I keep it simple and remember to remember Him, He reminds me that I can stop trying to conquer and vanquish every obstacle and simply return to my rest. I can trust His ability to carry me through everything. He protects and preserves me, meets my every need and has dealt bountifully with me. I can rest in Him.

Today I will resolve to keep it simple. I will slow down, take a deep breath, say a prayer of thankfulness, drink a cup or two (or pot) of coffee, relax and go about my day with the confidence that I can do everything I’ve been called to do in Him and that’s totally awesome!