Fully Convinced in Spite of all My Questions

What is a mind not wavering?

What is strength?

What is faith?

Can I walk in it?

Who holds the key?

Is the door really locked?

Am I on the outside looking in?

Are you inside waiting?

Are you cheering me on?

Are my hands strong?

Will I use them wisely?

Why am I asking so many questions?

The answers are there for the taking.

Why don’t I always remember them?

Is this a test I will have to pass again and again?

Will my memory serve me when it’s hard?

Will I forget to listen?

How could I ever forget the sound of your voice?

Who am I that you are mindful of me?

If I have to take another lap around the mountain, will you walk with me?

Are you singing?

Can I sing along?

Am I giving you glory?

Am I fully convinced?

If faith comes in giving you glory, can I fill up or overflow?

Is that even relevant?

Should I stop talking now?

I should.

“But he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God,  fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:20b-21

The Blood will Never Lose its Power

I never do anything like this so welcome to a first on the Inspired by the Comforter site. After speaking with a friend earlier, I couldn’t help but start singing a couple of choruses from some old songs I grew up on. I was lied to for years. The world around me, and yes, even the church and Christian content and media, told me over and over again that if I were better or more holy or enough, then God would be moving in my life, my family. My ex-husband wouldn’t have been an addict if I were a better wife. My life would be perfect and sunny and roses would sprout from my finger tips if only I could get my act together. I call bull! Excuse my language, but honey, no one can tell me that my efforts mattered more than the cross.

Jesus paid the price for my sin, my shame, everything, once and for all on the cross. “It is finished” means something. Yes, I will spend everyday of my life trying to be more like Jesus and I will be continually being sanctified and growing in my faith, but I don’t freakin’ have to be ENOUGH before I come to the cross! I come to the cross because in and of myself, I can’t be enough and wasn’t meant to ever be enough. I can’t be good enough apart from Christ. No one can. But that’s the beauty! He never expected us to be! He IS enough! And therefore, in Him, I am enough. I have everything I need and NO one can condemn me or take away the power of what He accomplished. No one can pluck me from His hand.

I write this now after speaking to a friend who is being lied to in the same way I used to be. I learned to call bull on the bull and punch it in the gut with the truth of the gospel and I see her beginning to do the same. So for my friend and anyone else who may need to hear it, I’m adding this short video I took a minute ago in my office at work (don’t tell my boss haha) to hopefully encourage you. It’s not my best, but that doesn’t matter, because like anything else, we hold up what we have and who we are to the light of the cross and He does what He will with it.

Don’t Waste the Chains

I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime. I used to feel a little sorry for myself if I’m being honest. I can remember sad, pitiful, moments when I whined at God because “He must love everyone else more than me since life was so unfair”, blah blah blah. I’m ashamed to admit that, but it’s the truth. I’ve long since adjusted my attitude towards suffering, hardship, and trials. I can either allow the hardships of my life to break me, or I can allow them to build me. I choose the latter.

It’s been through some of the hardest times of my life, that I’ve found what it means to truly live. It’s in the suffering that I’ve learned to find true joy. It’s in the anxious moments, that I’ve learned what it means to have peace and to lean in and trust more than I thought possible. It’s in pain, I’ve learned empathy. It’s in rejection, I’ve learned love. For all of these things, I am truly, honestly, not just throwing out a cliché, grateful!

Paul learned this as well. Philippians 1:12 NLT “I want you to know, dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News” He was in prison when he wrote those words. Yet, he used even his chains to further the Gospel! Nothing is wasted.

We live in a culture, particularly in the church, where we rail against suffering. We don’t want it! We don’t believe it should happen to us despite the fact that Jesus said in John 16:33 NLT, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.“. We’ve created entire doctrines based on the avoidance of pain, sickness, and suffering. Ultimately, we want to control things. We feel if we were better, we’d get better things. If we are good enough, we will be blessed. We’ve missed the point. We ARE blessed but not because bad things don’t happen to us and around us. We are blessed because He has overcome the world! (also in John 16:33) We are blessed because in the worst moments, He is there to strengthen us, give us peace, and we will come through it stronger and better! Remember in Philippians 1:21, Paul says, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”

In the worst moments of my life, not only do I have the opportunity to grow, but I have an opportunity to shine. When nothing and no one can hold me back from doing what God called me to do, those around me get the benefit. They can not only see Christ strengthening me, but I’m able to love better…to show them the love of Christ better. Sometimes, it’s in the midst of the chains, that we can spread the most freedom. Like Paul said, “Everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the good news.

Don’t waste your chains! Use them! Fight! Hold on tight and trust that nothing can stop you! Grow! Most importantly, learn to love deeply, trust without limits, and spread the love of God like you’ve never thought possible! You are a warrior! Don’t ever forget it.

Crank up the Music

Have you ever read something and you just can’t stop thinking about it? Saturday morning, I read a passage of Scripture, I’ve read probably one hundred times, but I never saw it. I’ve spent a lot of times studying the book of 2 Kings. I have a profound fascination with Elisha. I have even considered writing a book about it but I haven’t done it yet….maybe soon. Still, despite the many times I’ve read this, I never noticed this simple little thing hanging out in 2 Kings chapter 3.

I’m a musician, as many of you know. I have been involved in worship ministry in one form or another for the last 40 years of my life. I’m only 43 so it’s pretty obvious that music and worship have been instrumental (no pun intended…okay maybe a little intended) in who I am.

In 2 Kings 3, the king of Israel, Joram, and the king of Judah, Jehoshaphat have teamed up and are going to battle against Moab. Side note – I’ve always liked saying Jehoshaphat! It’s just fun. I feel like Buddy the Elf saying “Francisco” over and over again, “Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat”, but I digress. They decide they should ask the prophet of the Lord what they should do. Good idea Jehoshaphat! So they go to Elisha, who honestly, isn’t thrilled about the idea of helping them at all. He isn’t a big fan of Joram, who is still doing evil in the sight of the Lord and says in verse 13, “I want no part of you. Go to the pagan prophets of your father and mother!”

Still, despite Elisha’s attitude toward Joram, he agrees out of respect for…wait for it…Jehoshaphat. See it’s just fun! Anyway, the thing I never saw is in verse 15. Elisha agrees to ask the Lord for them, and in order to do that he says, “Bring me a musician.” 2 Kings 3:15. “Then it happened, when the musician played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him.” 2 Kings3:16.

The outcome here isn’t what I want to emphasize. What I can’t stop thinking about is that when Elisha’s own attitude was not in a space to find the word of the Lord, he knew how to pull himself out of it and into the presence of God. He knew that in in worship, God would reveal Himself. The hand of the Lord moved as the musician played.

I was talking with a friend recently who said they cannot stand the “worship” part of church. She meant the music. She just doesn’t get it and doesn’t understand why it is so repetitive etc. I get it. I also acknowledge that everyone has a different style and various worship expressions are necessary because we are all different and God speaks to us in different ways. Still never underestimate the power and impact that worship and music has on the lives and spirits of mankind.

If the hand of the Lord came upon Elijah through worship and he, Elisha, the man with a double portion of the anointing of Elijah needed them to call for a musician to change his attitude and hear from heaven, then it only makes sense why I fundamentally need music in my life. I am designed to absorb music. I feel it deeply. I sing loudly. I feel the atmosphere shift around me through melody and rhythm. It’s a part of me. It’s obviously a part of others as well and it’s in me so I can help others find and hear from heaven.

My point is two-fold. Number one, if something is in you, let it out! It’s in you for a reason. I’m a singer for a reason so I better SING! Whatever you have to offer, don’t keep it to yourself. Be who you are! Go out and change the world. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it anyway. God created you for a purpose and it wasn’t just to hide in the shadows. Live BIG!

Number two, if you’re struggling today, crank up the music and see what happens. Allow God to speak to you. Meditate on His word and listen. You never know what He will do. Crank it up! Dance! Sing! Listen! God is always speaking, not always how we think He will. It may be through music. It may be through a butterfly flying by your window. You never know, but if you have eyes to see and ears to hear, He will reveal Himself to you. Don’t miss it!

Light and Gravity…and Tears…

If the world were made of tears, I’m sure I would have cried enough to hold us all.

If the tears I cried became substance, then no one would ever fall.

If light were there by chance, we’d all be doomed.

If light is life and God is light, then baby it’s high noon!

Never underestimate the value of a God who sees and the wealth that comes through struggle and a life well lived.

His hands can hold a universe, they can certainly hold me…and you.

Maybe we can reflect some of it…

One foot…keep walking

The wind spins circles around my head

I see the life before me and I wonder if I’m supposed to be who I am

What is life but the continuing of one foot before another?

Every breath, a choice

Every moment, an opportunity for a voice

Yet, I am so often silent.

This is humanity…

A million moments of the mundane, followed by a hundred moments of impact.

But the mundane…the cleaning, the dishes, the listening to my kids talk about their day…the laundry…

In these moments, I become me. The woman I’m called to be.

So I’ll write and create and care for children, and sing, and process invoices, and update databases and go on..one foot in front of the other.

And in that, I will be more than I ever imagined.

Somehow, in the grind, God created destiny and legacy and that is enough for me.

Hello, tomorrow. I’m ready to do my best. We will see what God has in store. It may be great. It may be monotonous, but if it’s for Your glory, it’s entirely worth it.

One foot in front of the other…this is life.

Good night world

Dream a little dream for me

As tomorrow nears

And the night closes its eyes

Or maybe it keeps them open waiting for morning

Or maybe tomorrow is a continuance of today

Or maybe we can sweep it away in solitude for brighter things to come

Whatever the case….

Goodnight today

Welcome hope

New mercies

New grace

Newness

Renewal

Light

Life

Another day means we made it

Another day means another chance

Failure doesn’t exist here

In the space of tomorrow

Keep going

Keep fighting

Try another day

And someday you’ll find the reward.

Just never surrender.

Life is…

Life is walking on

Life is waking up in the morning

Life is doing what it takes to roll out of bed when the alarm is too harsh and the sleep is too short

Life is kids making you crazy

Life is partners making you wonder, “what in the world?!?”

Life is struggle

Life is breath

Life is another sunrise

Life is another chance

Life is another choice

Life is broken or whole?

Life is defeat or victory?

Life is who I was versus who I am.

Life is tomorrow…

Life is what if I tried?

Life is a choice

Life is a chance

Life is, what’s the worst that could happen?

Life is Jesus!

Life is, “What if I miss it?”

Life is “What if I fail?”

Life is “What if I didn’t?”

Life is “No regrets!”

Don’t waste it!

Go for it!

Live!!!

Do you ever sit and stare?

It’s been a week! I got sick, probably just a severe cold or flu, but it banned me from humanity in the current Covid climate, despite my negative test results. So I tried to rest, amidst my endless household to do list and everything I fight for and against on the daily. I often wonder if anyone could possibly know what the machinations of my daily life are…then I settle into a firm, “no” and go to bed.

So a week home of sickness, from work, has brought WAY too much time for watching home improvement shows and realizing my inadequacies. Maybe my organization style is actually, “modern mother seeking to survive life with chaos”? Who knows, but I don’t think I fit the mold. So I await the HGTV genie crew to come in and save me from myself and make my house a palace, but I think I’ll be waiting a long time.

And at the end of the day, it’s me….it rests on my shoulders to make light from darkness and order from chaos. I don’t think that I’m equipped and I know I won’t be gracing the world with appearances on (insert home show here.com), but I know that this is my life…this is my rodeo and I will fight to make it beautiful!

We can strive for HGTV “perfect” or we can rest in “our best” and if I have to choose, my instinct goes to “perfect” while my reality goes to “just breathe”. I may not be perfect, but God gave me these kids and He knows best. So I need to learn to suck it up and deal and fight another day. I am me. I am trying. I am who I’m meant to be this is me. (Okay got carried away and quoted a song, but somewhere someone was singing it! Or maybe that was just me) Either way, we are human, trying to get through the daily. We are warriors. Represent! Or am I the only one staring blankly at the end of the night? I hope I’m not alone! I sit and stare at the clock until it swallows me whole and then regret knowing the definition of time.