Maybe there’s something poetic about hiding in plain sight.
Or maybe it’s weakness.
Or maybe it’s strength to stay composed while the world crumbles and stirs around you.
Maybe it’s survival. Maybe it’s faith.
Maybe I’m not hiding at all! maybe I’m standing.
“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15
It is human to look in the closet of broken dreams and wonder if you’ve done enough or been enough to sustain the hope.
But the closet holds so much hope! Never underestimate who you were and who you are now!
There’s no magic formula that makes us great. It’s in the showing up. Am I willing to show up today and tomorrow and keep going?
That is where the magic lies. Show up. Shine! Greatness is in a life ready to do the best one can tomorrow.
Will tomorrow be great? It’s up yo you. Screw today! Get out there and LIVE!
I have all these heroes in the faith..people who shine bright amidst the noise and impact the world with light.
Tonight I wonder if I’m a “hero”.
Can I be one who shows a glimmer of light in darkness? Am I beacon to someone holding on, trying to breathe when the air seems thin?
Is it enough to live and love? Is it enough to show up everyday?
I think it is. We don’t need megaphones, we need presence. We don’t need lights and applause. Maybe a smile is enough.
Think about who impacted you the most on your journey. Did they need accolades or were they just there?
The beauty in life is in showing up in the small things. The big things are great but the small things are magic.
Shine when the light is missing. Shine when the dim overwhelms.
Be, unapologetically, you. You were born for this!
I was a human once.
I lived, I breathed, I knew who I was.
It was somewhere between where husband number one left me a puddle on the floor and husband number two decided I wasn’t enough.
Maybe I’m not.
Maybe they’re not.
I’m not qualified to say.
Tonight, I’m thinking I am beyond expectations and they are the fault.
Regardless, I’m here with the pieces.
Pieces are a funny thing. They fall in random intervals. They collide with ideals. They stick themselves in places you didn’t see coming.
But you hang on, groping for tomorrow because maybe it will be better and maybe peace can be found.
Maybe, instead of the ideal that someone will rescue me, I can find solace in me and my faith and the promise of tomorrow. I am tired.
I’m tired of picking up pieces and expecting gold.
Still, I am an optimist. I believe in tomorrow.
But today is real and I need to feel it to gather the gold.
So I struggle and rest in the same breath.
I am me and for tonight, that is enough. Tomorrow may be another story.
Shine when the darkness covers.
Shine when you can’t find light.
Today is a day gone…tomorrow is eternity, so live!!!!
Random thoughts from the lost and tired.
Be you!
Bring the thunder and the light will follow…at least that’s the hope.
Call me into the deep where you are waiting
I’ve missed the feel of you
My head can hear you and my sensibilities know you but my emotions have fallen out the window.
Who have I become that my emotion is absent?
I was passion now I’m passive and that isn’t enough.
I don’t want to live in a world without feeling
It doesn’t satisfy
Reason is enough in a world of black and white but let’s be real we live in prisms
It isn’t enough for me.
I need the sunshine and the breaking of light over dim
I need to feel it
It’s who I am
And I’m not alone
We need to feel
Emotion carries us through the mundane
A world without feeling is nothing but muted strength struggling to hang on
I want to feel the daybreak
And cry when the light strikes the perfect pose
I’m not alone
I can feel it
So sing with me seekers and cry out for the dawn
It’s coming
Hang on tight
Today marks 365 days around the sun since you joined us here. I remember the call. You were gone. I miss you more than I can say but I know it’s okay (I swear I didn’t mean for that to rhyme).
In my heart, I see clearly the serenity of the place you last walked. In my head, I want to call you and tell you about my day, my week, the weather, the sound my car is making, the dinner I cooked tonight…the stupid, little things.
I miss you! I wish you were here to run home to. I wish you were here to remind me it’s all okay. But I’ll have to wait until we meet again. “Remember who you are”, comes to mind.
I hope this year has been your best! I hope you’ve done your “special daddy dance” (which I demonstrate for my kids often) around the streets of heaven. I hope you’ve looked down on us and smiled. I smile for you daily!
One year, 365 days and everything has changed and everything is the same. Without you…
A hole in the center filled with light.
I miss you Daddy but I know it’s alright. (Oops with the rhyming again…whatever…I’m leaving it.)
The dark can be so daunting
The light can seem so dim
Still, from heaven, you are calling.
Can I hear your voice again?
No fear in death or life, though all of hell presses in
Your voice, the roaring lion, shatters mountains and hangs on the wind.
Still small voice, speak to me. I’m listening!


This post is a little different from my standard posts. I’m sharing with you what I wrote this morning while reading my Bible. Last night was a particularly difficult night for me. This morning, Is brighter because His word brings life and hope. Hopefully, you can glean something from it that will encourage you today. If you’re unfamiliar with the stories I’m referencing, read I Kings chapters 18 & 19.
It is Enough!
God showed Himself mightily through Elijah. In I Kings 18, he proves himself by sending fire to consume the sacrifice and turns the hearts of the people back to the Lord. Then he hears the “sound of abundance of rain” and prays until the clouds form and outruns Ahab’s chariot. Still, he (Elijah) was under a tremendous amount of pressure and adversity. By chapter 19 of I Kings, he’s running for his life from Jezebel, and it finally overwhelms him. He prays in verse 4 that he would die, “It is enough! Now Lord take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” He is tired and feels like a failure.
How many times in my life, have I felt exactly this way? The heaviness of it all gets to me from time to time, no matter how hard I try. I don’t think Elijah was suicidal. He wasn’t trying to hurt himself and if he really wanted to die, he wouldn’t have bothered running from Jezebel. He just needed to rest and find the voice and peace of God in the middle of the pain.
God was there and shows up to sustain him, just like he always does for us. For Elijah, he sent an angel to tap him on the shoulder and feed him. The angel says to him in verse 7, “The journey is too great for you”. God know what we can handle and when it’s too much for us. He doesn’t expect us to do it on our own or in our own strength. He is there with compassion and provision when we don’t have the strength to keep going. His provision strengthens us. Elijah went, “in the strength of that food” all the way to the “mountain of God”.
“What are you doing here Elijah?”
God could have been asking him this because he should have been somewhere else and he was hiding out in a cave instead, but I think God asked him this because He wanted Elijah to see where he was. He wanted Elijah to see his purpose and who he was and who God is.
“Then He said, ‘Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” I Kings 19:11-12
When Elijah heard the “still small voice”, he wraps his face in his mantle, the symbol of his prophetic authority and “went out and stood”. “What are you doing here Elijah?” It’s then, when Elijah knows why he’s there and recognizes who he is and that he’s not alone, that he goes back and follows the instructions of the Lord and continues the work of the Lord.
Sometimes this life, these trials, are too much for me. I lay down just like Elijah and pray “It is enough!” God is there for me as well. He sees and provides and leads me through. I need to lean in. I need to trust Him. When he says, “Arise and eat.”, for me that means devouring the word of God and letting His word sustain me. I need to realize that though the winds, and earthquakes, and fire, break the rocks into pieces, He is still, unmoving, constant. The seemingly smallest of things contain the most meaning. I need to lean in and steady myself in that! I need to remember who I am.
Elijah wrapped his face in his mantle, his purpose. My purpose is to glorify God in and through everything…to show Him to the world. When I remember why I’m here, I can stand up.
Like, Elijah, I also need to remember I’m not alone. God has placed people around me strategically to fight alongside me. I don’t have to find alone, and I can rest in that. Still, Elijah had to go out and appoint and anoint them. I need to stop being afraid of being vulnerable and be willing to reach out and accept help and support. That’s a tough one for me, but I’m working on it.
They’ve taken you to Haiti with your consent.
I’m not quite sure what to expect upon your return.
Will you be you?
Will you be another version of yourself?
I hear it gives one appreciation for the things we take for granted.
I hear it gives perspective,
Changes the ordinary into precious.
Really I suppose it changes the vision of the seer more than the makeup of the mundane.
I suppose a week will tell all.
I suppose you’ll bring home many stories and memories you will cherish forever.
And I will hold each memory you’ve lived close to my heart as well.
Two parts of myself fly high and away while I wait here praying,
And hoping for you to be arrows, mighty, in the quiver of the master.
With love, you’ll reach until your target met, is captivated by the grace of a savior.
You will love deeply and divinely.
It’s a hard thing to stay behind but an easy thing to watch you soar.
Go before them…with them, precious Lord and use them mightily.
They’ve taken you to Haiti and I couldn’t be happier.
INSPIRED BY THE COMFORTER 