Heroes

June 15, 2014 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

I always thought my dad was a hero. I think a lot of us feel that way when we’re growing up. Fathers possess super powers to fix everything from squeaky hinges to teary moments and automotive mayhem. I still call my dad when the car is making a goofy noise and I’m worried. My husband will say something normal like “Take it to the mechanic.” and I’ll say something slightly irrational like, “I’ll call Dad and ask him.” As if Dad is going to be able to help from 1170 miles away over a phone. But my husband doesn’t have the same memories I have. I remember standing next to the open hood of the car watching Daddy fix everything so many times. I remember watching the car that should have been put out to pasture long ago still making its way down the interstate because of his powers.

I remember long summer days sitting by the lake reeling in fish. I remember pretending to fall asleep in the car just so he’d carry me inside late at night. I remember hearing him preach and then practicing my preaching skills to my congregation of stuffed squirrels and bunnies later that afternoon. I remember his smile in the audience while I sang a solo. I remember when he taught me how to play a “D” Chord on the guitar and trying SO hard to get my fingers to stretch far enough to play “G”. (I’ve got it down now by the way.)

My step-dad was equally heroic. When I wandered in the woods and encountered a rattlesnake or water moccasin, he would come save the day. He invested hours looking at boring shells and teaching me how to jump into a wave. He listened and laughed when I made up goofy jokes that didn’t deserve laughter. He put up with more than his share of tickle wars even though he hates to be tickled. We had fun. We laughed often and hard. We still do.

Many of us are blessed enough to have wonderful memories with our dads. Many of us are blessed to watch similar stories unfold between our husbands and our children. My husband is a hero. He nobly walks out his faith each day in front of our children. He works hard. He sacrifices time watching (and playing) golf to wrestle and laugh with our baby boy. He gives of himself and what is more heroic than that? I am blessed to be his wife. I am blessed by him as a father.

Still, even more heroic is the love of our Heavenly Father. He gave so that we can live. He gives abundantly. Grace and love flow freely from His hands, from His heart even when we don’t deserve it. Strength is defined in Him. Selflessness begins in Him. Life was and is breathed in Him.

Heroes give.

Today, I am thankful for the heroes in my life. The world is a better place because of heroes like you. Happy Father’s Day!

They’ve Taken you to Haiti

June 10, 2014 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

They’ve taken you to Haiti with your consent.

I’m not quite sure what to expect upon your return.

Will you be you?

Will you be another version of yourself?

I hear it gives one appreciation for the things we take for granted.

I hear it gives perspective,

Changes the ordinary into precious.

Really I suppose it changes the vision of the seer more than the makeup of the mundane.

I suppose a week will tell all.

I suppose you’ll bring home many stories and memories you will cherish forever.

And I will hold each memory you’ve lived close to my heart as well.

Two parts of myself fly high and away while I wait here praying,

And hoping for you to be arrows, mighty, in the quiver of the master.

With love, you’ll reach until your target met, is captivated by the grace of a savior.

Opportunity Knocks

June 8, 2014 / Jaimie / 2 Comments

I watch the still of waters running deep
Feel the motion of the world shaking beneath my feet as I walk
Onward toward the prize where few men dare to venture wanting more than day to day
Wanting you

All along you beckon, drawing me near, waiting for me to wait for you

There’s this great big world outside my cozy corner
A speck of dust I am, filled with treasure, unfolding in pieces
Called lovely
Redeemed in wonder with brokenness aside

Today fades to tomorrow and opportunity and I decide to embrace it

Mountaintops, Loaves and Fishes

May 28, 2014May 28, 2014 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

I’ve heard it said that it’s the moments that define us. Like Abraham marking the spot on Mount Moriah where he was willing to sacrifice all and found favor in the sight of The Living God, we all have our moments.

I was 19 and running. I was pregnant and alone. My boyfriend had made it abundantly clear that I was on my own. He not only wanted nothing to do with the baby, but was threatening me, so I ran. I didn’t tell my family about the pregnancy. Oddly at around 6 1/2 months in, my father in Ohio heard from his neighbor (who I’d met once) that I was expecting. Dad called Mom in Florida and Mom called me in Georgia. I finally confessed then because I knew at some point, it would have to come out (in more ways than one).

Less than a year before, I was a good Christian girl planning Bible college and touting the benefits of abstinence to my friends as if I knew anything. Then I broke. A few months passed and I was there on my living room floor sinking in reality. How on earth was I going to support this baby? The job I’d secured before moving to Georgia had fallen through leaving me working at Wendy’s for $4.75 an hour. That particular day, they’d cut my hours.

That night, in my Wendy’s uniform, I finally reached the end of me. I remember the taste of the tears as I cried out to the Lord. I remember the longing of my broken heart, the desire to raise my child in the ways of the Lord, the desire to offer my child so much more than I had ever had. I remember the moment. I remember the prayer. In my heart, I see that altar, my Mount Moriah, standing as a testament in my memory of the moment I gave in. The moment I was willing to give it all to my King and the moment he freed me and began to rebuild me.

That wasn’t my only Moriah. The thing about offering ourselves as living sacrifices Romans 8 style is that living sacrifices can crawl off the altar from time to time. I know I’ve taken my life back into my hands more times than I can count. It’s then that we have to look back and remember those Moriah moments. I know my way isn’t the best choice. He always knows what he’s doing.

The truth is, that baby he blessed me with was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. She grounded me, pulled me back to the cross, realizing that I couldn’t do it alone. She propelled me to stop wasting time and start working toward an education and a future so I could make a better life for her. She was exactly what I needed. She was the greatest gift my longing heart could have ever received.

I watch her now, almost grown, and I’m so thankful for the young lady she’s become. She amazes me daily. You see, God doesn’t just give us beauty for ashes. He redeems and recreates. He produces life out of nothing. I was reading in John when Jesus fed the multitude with just a few loaves and fishes. What amazes me is not that he multiplied the small, but that he made sure nothing was lost. John 6:12 “So when they were filled, He said to His disciples, “Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost.” God doesn’t waste our moments, he multiplies them and gathers up the fragments. He makes sure nothing is lost. Nothing is left behind. He will take every fragment of our broken lives and redeem it into something useful and lovely. It may look like smelly fish and simple bread now, but just wait. Soon, he may use you to feed a multitude. You could become the miracle.

He took my fragments and gave me a miracle and he’s still building. I can’t wait to see what he does next. But it’s all dependent on our willingness to allow him to take our loaves and fishes. Give him your stuff, all of it, and watch him do something incredible.

Here on the Edge of Dreaming

May 14, 2014May 14, 2014 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

When dreams seem to be dying before your eyes and hope is dwindling like a campfire guarded by a nodder, there is only one answer.

There comes a time when we are required to act on all of the things we believe in.

Suddenly the lofty ideals become necessities of survival.

We earnestly listen for the voice of our king to whisper a reminder that it’s all okay.

Our circumstances might be trivial in the scheme of eternity but they are our present and they feel like boulders, heavy, pressing.

My pastor has always said to see what kind of fruit something is, squeeze it and see what kind of juice comes out. (Eph. 5)

I’ve felt like a lemon this week, hoping for sweetness, love, joy, peace…instead finding sour.

The stinging remnants of old fears dropping in to say hello.

All I thought I’d sacrificed on the altar, shooting for a comeback and I stagger slightly until I remember to command my soul to listen.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God” Psalm 42:11

Here on the edge of dreaming I hold on, knowing he didn’t bring me here to watch me fall.

I trust him.

Time

May 9, 2014May 9, 2014 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

Father Time boasts precision but I’m beginning to wonder. This morning he seems to be all thumbs. It cannot possibly be time to wake up and start another day. It cannot be that my stepson graduates from college tomorrow. It can’t be right that baby man will be turning one and I need to plan a family gathering and smash cake. It cannot be only one year left until my precious daughter finishes high school and chooses a college.
Perhaps his fingers swell at night when we aren’t looking and push the minute hand up, faster than we anticipate. Maybe he’s playing tricks on us to see if we are paying attention. He’s watching to see if we will look up and live or fumble, head down, persistent into out to do lists and/or smart phones. I don’t know.
This morning I’m watching. I’m aware that it’s a flash and a blur this life. And we hang on and try to enjoy the ride, often forgetting to pause and laugh or smile. Often forgetting WHY we do day to day.
Sometimes we miss our moments because we are too tired, too busy, too distracted. We abandon life for tv screens and media. In all our doing we forget to live.
Time isn’t waiting for us. It’s moving, changing, ticking on. Steady or fumbled and jumbled, I don’t know. Though we can’t control the clock, we can redeem the day.

Bananas

May 5, 2014 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

I moved from Southern Ohio to Florida in 1988. I was in the fourth grade. It seemed so glamorous and magical at the time. We had a banana tree beside our little trailer and I thought it looked so tropical and lush. It was just a baby but we were so proud of it. I knew one day I’d be eating fruit we’d grown right there in our trailer park yard. Somehow, since then, I’ve lost some of the wonder.

When my husband and I moved into our current home, the yard was a little barren so we hired a landscaper to put in some plants that we weren’t likely to kill easily. We are not the most inspired gardeners. He put in several banana trees. I found myself complaining about them. I should focus on the green portions of the tree or the cute little bunches of bananas that grow from time to time, but instead, all I see are the brown droopy leaves bending low at the bottom of the plants. They are kind of ugly.

The noble trees are working hard to reach upward; growing fast toward the sun. They are even making precious fruit for me to enjoy and I sit and criticize and scorn them thinking my yard looks more like a mess than a tropical paradise. I could go tend them and clean up the area a little, but that demands more effort than I care to proffer so I choose the path of least resistance, annoyance.

Francis Frangipane mentioned this critical tendency recently when he said, “True, when I first see the need, typically, my flesh reacts with criticism. But if I repent of just finding fault – if I pray and submit myself to Christ’s heart – I soon discover there are many ways for me to participate in redeeming this situation, all of which fuel my spiritual growth. Indeed, by approaching the area of need with Christ’s redemptive heart, the “flawed reality” I initially criticized ultimately became the land of my anointing.”

I’ve known those who say they will never go to church because the church is full of hypocrites. And maybe they are right. Maybe we are all goofy looking banana trees reaching for the sun as the old sinful nature dies off and dangles, brown and ugly. Thankfully, God looks down from above and sees life and delights in all of us fruity folks. Still I can’t help but wonder what the body of Christ could do if we would take that child like perspective that sees the tree as magical, lush, tropical and full of wonder. What if we stopped criticizing one another and started participating in redeeming the situation? What if we pushed aside the urge to criticize and began reacting to annoyance first with prayer? What would we look like if we chose love? I, for one, am planning to find out.

To Be Like Naaman

May 1, 2014 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

If I were a man of valor, I could do all the right things while defeating many enemies. I could swarm in at the first sign of impending attack and quell the conflict with a glance of my fiery eyes. I could gain favor from the king, acclaim from my fellows, pride from the weight of the sword swinging mightily in my hand. Naaman was a man of valor. (2 Kings 5) Naaman was a leper.
The thing about our own might is that it can only reach so far. There will always be that thing out of our control that we cannot conquer with our own strength. There are things that coat the skin and degrade our might before our eyes. At the end of the day, we cannot make ourselves pure. We are helpless in the face of our own sins, unable to heal the innermost scars that taunt and threaten our undoing. Our own efforts look silly when the mirror reflects back to us the image of who we’ve become after the world has battered us to sickness.
Then we bring our riches to the place where God’s presence dwells, hoping he will be gracious enough to make us clean. He asks us for the simple thing. Go to the river and wash and be clean. Yet we are prone to turn away angry expecting to be asked to give greatness in exchange for greatness. Even then, we are reminded that the way to freedom is simple. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Mt. 11:28.
We dive deep, seven times in the water of life and we are clean. “So he went down and dipped seven times in the Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.” 2Kings 5:14
The thing about Naaman is that his valor couldn’t save him. His riches couldn’t save him. (The man of God wouldn’t accept anything.) A simple act of obedience washed away his flesh until he was pure with faith like a child. It was there, in that childlike faith, that he knew God was real.
If I were a man of valor, I would be humble. I would deny logic for a chance to obey the voice of my maker. If I were a man of valor, I would become a child and follow.

To be a Real Woman

April 23, 2014 / Jaimie / 5 Comments

This morning began like any other. I guzzled some coffee, did my mom thing, got a quick workout in, did laundry. At some point when the dust had settled, I sat down for a dose of social media while the Today Show played in the background. There was a post (which I will not link here because there is a curse word in it) from a friend of mine that in essence said a “real woman” is whatever she wants to be rather than curvy or skinny or muscular etc. Meanwhile, the Today Show can’t stop talking about People Magazine’s selection of Lupita Nyong’o as Most Beautiful person of the year.

Lupita Nyong’o – She is beautiful isn’t she?

The Today Show host said that Lupita had said in an interview that growing up, she didn’t feel beautiful at all. And it hit me afresh how many women feel this way. How sad that we’ve allowed outside opinion and influence to dictate our identity. I too am guilty of propagating the lie.

Just this morning, I caught myself thinking, as I looked a friend’s photo, “She is such a pretty girl, but she wears WAY too much makeup!” I know I’ve said the opposite as well, “She would be so pretty if she wore a little makeup.” Or “lost weight” or “gained weight” or “dressed better” or…you get the idea.

I’ve propagated the lie inward as well. “I need to lose those last few baby pounds.” “I need shoes like that” “I need a new hairstyle.”…you get the idea. Don’t misunderstand, there is nothing wrong with doing things that make you feel confident like getting a new haircut or wearing those outfits that make you feel like you can conquer earth with your awesomeness. I think those things are important and healthy. The problem starts when we believe the lie that we are defined from the outside.

The truth is that a real woman is not defined by her appearance. A real woman is not defined by weight, style, physical attributes, clothing, shoes, hair, makeup. A real woman is defined by who she is, who she was made to be and the God who created her with purpose and destiny.

Maybe if we all realized that we are beautiful just because we were created to carry the beauty of the divine and share that beauty with the world, we would start living a little differently. Think about it, what is more beautiful than a woman stopping to wipe tears from little eyes and help a smile reappear? What is more beautiful than reaching a hand to someone no one else sees and showing them they have value? What is more beautiful than the one who brings food to the hungry, water to the thirsty? When someone stops the chaos for a moment of conversation and tenderness?

When we will stop being distracted by the trivial and start living the eternal? Love is forever.

When we carry the divine, we are beautiful.

I am beautiful because He is beauty and He lives in me.

You Know You’re a Mother When…

April 18, 2014April 18, 2014 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

1. You check your clothes before you leave the house to see how much goo you happen to be covered in and whether it’s worth the effort to change.

2. You forget to check for you goo until three hours later when you realize you have smashed up graham cracker on your shirt and boogers smeared on your shoulder.

3. You close or open more doors with your feet then you do your hands.

4. You bring a thermos of coffee with you to pick up the kids from school so you don’t fall asleep in car rider line.

5. You have no idea what Pharrell Williams looks like but you know what color every Disney princess wears.

6. You’ve only heard of Pharrell Williams because your teenager was talking about him yesterday.

7. You know all the words to every silly song Larry the Cucumber ever sang.

8. Your family looks like a picture in a magazine other than you…. you haven’t brushed your hair in three days.

9. You based your outfit on how easily you could discreetly nurse a baby. Consequently you haven’t worn a non-button up dress in months. (Who am I kidding? If it wasn’t for work, you’d live in yoga pants or sweatpants or jammies.)

10. You have hot wheels and Cheerios in your purse or maybe even an extra pair of itty bitty toddler underpants.

11. You have super-human abilities to carry multiple items at once without dropping anything including the wiggly baby on your hip.

12. You realized sleep wasn’t really necessary after all. You haven’t had any in years.

13. A trip to the gym counts as alone time.

14. You forgot to eat on more than one occasion this week, but it’s okay because the baby shared his graham cracker with you (See #1)

15. You don’t shy away from challenges. You after all, can do the laundry, play ball, cook dinner, pay the bills and talk on the phone all at once. Most of all, you can untangle one of those plastic slinkys and THAT my friend is a thing of magic.

16. You know all about love and pour it out daily.

17. You know what it is to look on baby faces and little toes and feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude that you were chosen for this awesome adventure that is parenting.

18. You know what it is to feel like you can’t possibly do it all while realizing that what you do daily has lasting meaning. You do your best and hope and pray that God can make something beautiful out of it. And He does!

19. You are blessed! Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward!” Proverbs 31:28 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her”

Smile Mom! You’re doing great!