Balance

December 28, 2013 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

She walks as if beauty lives in her eyes

In one hand she grasps the wind

One foot pressed firmly into the sandy substance of time

Purposeful peace released in her gaze

Prayer for the needy ones escapes on her breath

Effortless

She strolls alone through the hazy twilight

She waits for me – (JD Oct. 2013)

2014 is just around the corner. It’s doing what most new years tend to do and coming up with lightning speed aiming to throw a wrench in my otherwise good intentions until I’m sitting still in December next year mulling over the year in review and wondering what I accomplished.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to accomplish things. How to obtain balance in my overstuffed life is a theme that repeatedly comes to call. It knocks on the door of my heart each morning as I plan my day. It beckons me from the window of my soul each evening as I lie in bed. There are demands that vie for my attention each day and often I succumb to their weight until I’m crushed and defeated.

Then all at once, it hits me; I look around at the baby in my arms and the child squishing into the chair cozy next to my husband. I see that look in his eyes that reminds me how much he really loves me. It’s that moment reminding me that this is my life and it’s such a blessing. Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed, not by all of the crushing demands and responsibilities I take it upon myself to master, but by the wonder of how wonderful life is.

I’m reminded that the biggest reward of balance is peace. Perspective brings enormous meaning to the seemingly trivial. So I’ll begin my day and this new year remembering that of all the things I accomplish, the things that bring the most meaning are found in the simplest of places, the light in another’s eyes.

He is Here

December 24, 2013 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

The silence is deafening, the noise of fallen Earth muted to hush in anticipation

The bustle of a barren land, called home, preparing to be counted

The movement of a multitude, disruption suddenly backstage, on order of the director, as pregnant maid and man approach.

All of heaven waits eagerly for the glorious symphony to begin

Audience of shepherds to hear the triumphant song of the angels, “Glory to God in the highest”

The exalted one lies in humble manger in this moment when the King of Kings takes his place on lowly earth

Incarnate deity wrapped in swaddling clothes, sent to seek and save

Beloved one, sent to love us with sacrifice we cannot fully comprehend.

The waiting world continues moving not knowing that in one moment everything changed

Here we are, caught in our schedules, trapped by the things that keep us busy

Bustling through the day-to-day, so quick to forget that He is here

He came to hay and straw, to lowly earth and man and girl

He gave life to save and redeem that which was lost

He rose victorious, keys in his hands, conquering death forever

He’s coming again.

This Christmas and always, I am grateful!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Earth meets Sky

December 11, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

I’m looking forward to the point where Earth and sky meet wondering if that’s the place you’ve chosen as a footstool. What will it be like on that day when I can reach out in glorified body and touch the hem of your garment for myself? What will it be like to see a beauty earthen eyes cannot fathom? I know the sun would melt into vapor if you would release the fullness of your glory, yet I will see you face to face.

You are too great for me!

You blink and heaven and Earth bow to fade as the shutter flashes photograph and I stand in awe. Majesty seems such an understatment.

I reach for your finger like a babe grips his papa.

Lead me to the place where your glory dwells.

The Edge of the World

December 6, 2013December 6, 2013 / Jaimie / 3 Comments

In my own little world I become numb

The small of my back resting in a small little chair

In my small little house on a small little street

In a small little town

Where the green grass grows all around, all around…

The days go by one by one like a blur and I forget to open my eyes

Perspective is a thing gained in increments, easily ignored, or swallowed forcibly

We can either look straight at the moments that define us

Or recover with as much grace possible when life hits hard

I hope to choose the former

mount

So here I am on the edge of the world realizing that there is a vastness so much greater than me

Adventure so much grander than I have imagined

A people gripped by more need than I have acknowledged

There are tears I have not shed in prayer

Hands I’ve refused to hold for fear of soiling my own

Eyes I have not looked deeply into

Thirsts not quenched by the reaching of my own hand

Somehow here, my mundane seems to lack meaning

To make an impact above the ordinary

To excel in the midst of the mediocre

To fulfill, suddenly becomes the only source of fulfillment

I am made full by the pouring out of all I am on the altar

The emptying of self in reasonable service to the Most High

Deep calling deep within my soul

Revealing to me that I only live when I stop living only for me

Here on the edge of the world, I find a new beginning.

Good Math

November 20, 2013November 21, 2013 / Jaimie / 1 Comment

In the span of time when today and tomorrow collide, I wait for you
Suddenly the dim is clear, the dawn no longer impending
The new day is a promise of hope and life
All in the space where you are mine
Where one is one the sum of two and we are us together
In this space between yesterday, now and morning.
And I breathe in this, precious gift revealing the endless love of God delivered in the simple yet complex blessing of this communion

The Siren Song of Something More

October 29, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

Hiding in the shadows, the sinister force beckons

Maybe happiness lies here just beyond your reach

If you could just get a little closer it would all be better

Greener grasses, bigger houses, more money, more love, better friends, deeper relationships…better you

The something more you can’t quite attain but give all to pursue

The something borrowed you want to own

Others have and you covet

The goals you haven’t reached

Chances you haven’t taken

Questions you keep puzzling until the answer is lost beneath the mystery

Pain you choose to numb instead of heal spreads like virus to the soul

She lures you until you’re too near the crash to turn without injury

And then you’re left wanting more

Wanting the past to come around again or wanting to wallow in it

You’re blind by the beauty

Then you’re gone

And I sit wondering if anything will ever be enough

He calls from the mountain

Come up here and find rest while you tune Him out with the noise of singing

Beware weary wanderer

She’s coming after you

Time

October 21, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

Time, that slippery substance

Catching and tripping through our fingers while we brace and hope for more

Time, that present wonder

Existing here, already gone

That blip between eternity future and eternity past

Over so quickly while we sleep

In waking we ask ourselves if we’ve missed the moment we’ve been waiting for

We watch as hair grows gray, as creases deepen from smiles and worries long forgotten

We watch while young ones grow taller

Love blooms in babies who yesterday sat wobbly on our knees

Now eyes glimmering with the promise of tomorrow

We smile at the milestones

Mourn as the hour of passing comes swift while we ponder legacies and what the future will be like without them with us

We walk on steady or limping

Mainly because there’s no way to stop moving,

No way to capture the moment still

except memory

We know the path will lead on into the fray

Through the tempest

Through the cold and shadow and light of joy

We know the clock will tick tomorrow and we hope for wisdom

Time, illusive tyrant

Fleeting friend

Giver of hope

Great mystery

Can you stop just long enough for me to take it all in?

With that, here wakes another morning

Tranny Slip Blues

October 3, 2013 / Jaimie / Leave a comment

Twelve

I’m all in and I’m not here at the same time

Divided and conquered by complacency

I’m willing and driven but my ‘tranny’* has stalled

when I should be moving forward I find myself slippin’

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

There’s so much to be done but my brain’s asleep

Oh Lord, let my love for you be my motivation

Be my strength today while I keep pumping the gas

Eventually, it will all kick in and I’ll be off and running again

Until then, I’ll just keep going

*Notes and explanation for those of you who drive vehicles that actually work properly. “Tranny” is what my fixer-upper family has always called the transmission in a vehicle. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had your tranny slip, but it sometimes feels like this: you hit the gas, get half way through the intersection and it just won’t accelerate anymore. If you pump it enough, it may kick in and then you jerk forward and take off and sometimes this happens repeatedly before you can really go anywhere. You listen to the engine rev but you’re not moving. It’s not fun! I’m thankful to say this hasn’t happened to me in quite sometime. We had one vehicle awhile back (affectionately named “Burt, the van of Destiny”) that did this for a long time before we finally broke down (no pun intended) and got a new transmission.

I sometimes have days where I feel like good ol’ Burt. My “get up and go” just doesn’t want to “get up and go” though I have the best of intentions. I’m sure lack of sleep or lack of coffee are contributors to this phenomenon. Either way, I’m hoping God will rejuvenate my giddy-up and infuse me with a little strength to accomplish great things today. In the meantime, I plan to just keep moving. One little thing at a time.