poetry

Time

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Worn

Time, that slippery substance

Catching and tripping through our fingers while we brace and hope for more

Time, that present wonder

Existing here, already gone

That blip between eternity future and eternity  past

Over so quickly while we sleep

In waking we ask ourselves if we’ve missed the moment we’ve been waiting for

We watch as hair grows gray, as creases deepen from smiles and worries long forgotten

We watch while young ones grow taller

Love blooms in babies who yesterday sat wobbly on our knees

Now eyes glimmering with the promise of tomorrow

We smile at the milestones

Mourn as the hour of passing comes swift while we ponder legacies and what the future will be like without them with us

We walk on steady or limping

Mainly because there’s no way to stop moving,

No way to capture the moment still

except memory

We know the path will lead on into the fray

Through the tempest

Through the cold and shadow and light of joy

We know the clock will tick tomorrow and we hope for wisdom

Time, illusive tyrant

Fleeting friend

Giver of hope

Great mystery

Can you stop just long enough for me to take it all in?

With that, here wakes another morning

Tranny Slip Blues

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Twelve

Twelve

I’m all in and I’m not here at the same time

Divided and conquered by complacency

I’m willing and driven but my ‘tranny’* has stalled

when I should be moving forward I find myself slippin’

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak

There’s so much to be done but my brain’s asleep

Oh Lord, let my love for you be my motivation

Be my strength today while I keep pumping the gas

Eventually, it will all kick in and I’ll be off and running again

Until then, I’ll just keep going

*Notes and explanation for those of you who drive vehicles that actually work properly. “Tranny” is what my fixer-upper family has always called the transmission in a vehicle. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had your tranny slip, but it sometimes feels like this: you hit the gas, get half way through the intersection and it just won’t accelerate anymore. If you pump it enough, it may kick in and then you jerk forward and take off and sometimes this happens repeatedly before you can really go anywhere. You listen to the engine rev but you’re not moving. It’s not fun! I’m thankful to say this hasn’t happened to me in quite sometime. We had one vehicle awhile back (affectionately named “Burt, the van of Destiny”) that did this for a long time before we finally broke down (no pun intended) and got a new transmission.

I sometimes have days where I feel like good ol’ Burt. My “get up and go” just doesn’t want to “get up and go” though I have the best of intentions. I’m sure lack of sleep or lack of coffee are contributors to this phenomenon. Either way, I’m hoping God will rejuvenate my giddy-up and infuse me with a little strength to accomplish great things today. In the meantime, I plan to just keep moving. One little thing at a time.

Clarity

Busy

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Chaos

I have no time to write today

The busy fairies have carried me away

I’ll see you on the other side

If the busy fairies bring me back alive

What it means to dive deeper into God’s word

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Substance of Liquid

Blinded

Sight on loan from the maker of reality and I glimpse only a fraction of the picture

The parade of time marching before me and I am subject to the constraints of the sidelines

Thirsty

Deep calls to deep, leaving me wanting more

Spirit river laps gently

Calls me in, downward to the deep well

Subaqueous beauty pouring forth from printed page

the spoken word of the infinite Godhead

I’m allowed to fall into the spring

until I become fully submerged

I am pulled under until I’m drinking the cool liquid deep

into my lungs and I drown in the glory

Under the surface of earth I find life

Streams making glad the river of God

I am undone

Fully consumed in His presence where I can rest tonight

Jaimie's Phone 276

James

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off a cliff

I’m in love with you

the light in your eyes when you look at me

the smile that graces your lips when I am near

the sound of your laughter

the sound of your voice

the faithfulness in your hands

the strength of your spirit

the prayers

the joy

the peace

the persistence

you are a rock that steadies my anxious heart

you are a pillar I lean in to when the ground seems shaky

your skin

your eyes

your mouth

your form

all elixir, I can drink in and enjoy

it’s an honor to be your wife

did I mention that I’m in love with you?

 

 

Singularity

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calm

Singular, I stand, speaking to the air

Lost, all things escaping my lungs, gobbled up in earthen noise

Singular and driven as my arms flail like ribbons at the mercy of the wind

Together we accomplish more

As one we cry

One voice lifted above the madness

One army united before the fray

Joined to free the captives

Joined to free ourselves

True singularity

pink shirt stands

Stretched

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Bound

Bound

Stretched thin am I as faith and fear collide

Cascading plans, as towers, tumble to the waiting ground

Opens up to absorb them

Covers them with dust

All other ground is sinking sand

And I hover, helpless to save

In breath, I reach

Stretched upward like flame pulled higher

I become vapor

Seated on the air

Growing wings that carry me to the heavens

Prayer whispered, measured in golden bowls before Him

Worthy of all my praise

Worthy of all my trust

I gaze at the empty place my plans once stood

Knowing His are better

Knowing tomorrow He’ll open the heavens and restore all that was swallowed by the hungry ground.

Faithful

Stretched am I as my fear and faith collide

Stronger I am on the other side.

Strong

On Imaginary Leadership

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Shadow People

I think I would love to lead a group of imaginary people.

I could preach for hours and imagine their response as they are moved by my words.

I could lead them in worship and see them cry out to the Lord in praise.

I could watch them as they are moved to tears when I hit that ‘big’ note.

I could show them love and compassion.

I could give them imaginary money when they are in need.

I could take them shopping and spoil them a little from time to time.

I could have them over and cook them a splendid imaginary dinner.

See them respond in amazement at my awesome cooking skills. Move over Rachael Ray!

They’d always heed my advise.

I’d always be nice.

They’d always be on time.

My kids would never whine.

They’d laugh at all my jokes.

Nothing would ever begin to feel rote.

As excitement fills the air, I’ll let each one of them share.

Ah, imaginary people would be fun, but I’d never get anything of substance done.

Banyan

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Banyan

 

There’s a grace that digs deep

Core of strength extends lofty to the sky

Outward, stretched, fallen man reaching for a savior

Redeemed and strong his boughs grow

Boldly lifted to heights he never dreamed

He searches for more

Always reaching

Always hoping

Faith finding him ransomed

Free he soars with the heavens

From the heights he reaches down

Lowering his fingers to the earth beneath

Digging in deeper

Delving anxiously to accomplish his task

Expanding his reach, as he bores into areas still covered by turf

Grace that reaches for more

Grace that reaches for others

Grace that overcomes all

Dig deeply in me until nothing remains untouched

Adoration

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I’m sitting in a quiet room, baby in my arms. Soft and warm, nuzzled tightly to my chest breathing in. Tiny sighs and squeaks eek out occasionally as lips move to reflexive smile or the impulse to nurse though his mouth is empty. He sleeps and I adore him.

My husband lies across the room still, resting after a long day’s work. I watch him. Eyes closed, peaceful and strong and I am thankful. With strength and persistence he provides for us. So diligent, so faithful. Then loving, he comes home to me with smiles, a tender embrace and kind words. Now he sleeps and I adore him.

The sun is sitting low and casting light through the stained glass into my cozy little nest. the way it alters the hue and brings sparkle and shimmer to substance fills me with wonder. I don’t stop enough to admire the beauty.

Then he looks at me. Blue eyes lit with something deep and extraordinary. I become fully awake in the joy and love behind his eyes. I’m captivated. He is mine and I adore him.