What it’s like to live in an abusive relationship

There are nights when life feels okay and you fall asleep and dream of good things.

There are nights when you blame the world’s failings on your own shoulders.

I can bleed with the best of them.

But there are nights when you realize, for maybe a minute, that this is harder than it should be.

And death till you part doesn’t mean, you die like an expense report, in the archives of a business file.

Maybe there’s more than this.

Maybe there’s a place where it isn’t all your fault, Even though it never was to begin with.

Maybe holding on is leaving you cut and scarred and bruised beyond recognition.

And you can’t tell the world because they don’t understand.

And you can’t be a failure again and again.

So you ride the carousel until it stops and buy another ticket.

Because yesterday was good

And tomorrow is unknown.

But anything is better than this…

Heave, ho, pull the anchor in again my friend because it’s not easy and you and you alone get to decide when it’s too heavy.

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